Resilience

Season 3

, Episode 13

Dec 21, 2022

| All Podcasts

Tag(s): Mind & Emotional Care

Resilience Discription

The Doctors discuss the traits of resilience and the importance of managing stress and dealing with setbacks.

Resilience Transcription

1 00:00:05,455 –> 00:00:07,791 Welcome to take good care. 2 00:00:07,791 –> 00:00:11,161 An endeavor of Peachtree City Obstetric and Gynecology. 3 00:00:11,611 –> 00:00:14,247 Our aim and mission is to serve as a source of vital 4 00:00:14,247 –> 00:00:17,067 information and discussion for women of all ages. 5 00:00:17,300 –> 00:00:19,803 Races and walks in life. 6 00:00:19,803 –> 00:00:21,621 I’m Dr. Mironda Williams. 7 00:00:21,621 –> 00:00:22,172 I’m Dr. 8 00:00:22,172 –> 00:00:24,924 Deanna Guthrie, and I am Dr. Karen Greene. 9 00:00:25,191 –> 00:00:33,750 Welcome to our show. 10 00:00:34,317 –> 00:00:38,238 On today’s episode, we thought we would take a look at a topic 11 00:00:39,589 –> 00:00:41,157 of resilience. 12 00:00:41,157 –> 00:00:44,210 I think everyone can attest to the fact that the last 13 00:00:45,111 –> 00:00:49,165 2 to 3 years, in particular with the pandemic 14 00:00:49,165 –> 00:00:54,621 and the effect that has had on everything from the economy, supply chain, 15 00:00:54,621 –> 00:00:58,441 you know, just our public health, just politically, everything. 16 00:00:59,275 –> 00:01:01,795 So to have that on top of just normal life 17 00:01:03,063 –> 00:01:08,968 challenges, I think the idea of resilience and how we can be more resilient 18 00:01:08,968 –> 00:01:13,106 or can you improve your resilience to help us all as 19 00:01:13,106 –> 00:01:16,676 we try to tackle all the different things that life continues to throw at us? 20 00:01:16,709 –> 00:01:18,711 So we thought we’d give a little bit of time 21 00:01:18,711 –> 00:01:22,499 just to put some information out about this and to go into 22 00:01:22,499 –> 00:01:26,219 what is resilience and are the different types of resilience. 23 00:01:26,219 –> 00:01:29,389 And again, what can we do if we want to improve our own resilience 24 00:01:29,389 –> 00:01:31,858 or perhaps even the resilience of loved ones? 25 00:01:31,858 –> 00:01:33,409 So we’ll get started. And I think Dr. 26 00:01:33,409 –> 00:01:37,397 Greene is going to get us going with just explaining about what resilience is. 27 00:01:37,831 –> 00:01:39,716 Thank you, Dr. Williams. 28 00:01:39,716 –> 00:01:44,070 So we looked at an article that specifically talked about resilience, 29 00:01:44,070 –> 00:01:48,141 and I think we all can attest to the fact that the definition 30 00:01:48,141 –> 00:01:51,594 is resilience, is the ability to cope with and recover from setbacks. 31 00:01:53,897 –> 00:01:54,297 You know, that 32 00:01:54,297 –> 00:01:58,067 said that people who remain calm in the face of disaster are resilient. 33 00:01:58,468 –> 00:02:02,672 I’d probably say that anybody who delivers a baby has to be resilient 34 00:02:02,906 –> 00:02:06,509 because you never know what’s going to happen. 35 00:02:06,509 –> 00:02:10,380 People with psychological resilience are able to use their skills and strengths 36 00:02:10,380 –> 00:02:14,033 to respond to life’s challenges instead of falling into despair, 37 00:02:14,033 –> 00:02:17,787 hiding from issues or using unhealthy coping, scatter strategies. 38 00:02:18,204 –> 00:02:22,041 What this does not mean is that people who are resilient 39 00:02:22,041 –> 00:02:26,312 don’t experience less distress, grief or anxiety. 40 00:02:26,963 –> 00:02:30,617 They just use healthy coping skills that foster strength. 41 00:02:31,351 –> 00:02:34,070 They emerge stronger than they were before. 42 00:02:34,070 –> 00:02:36,272 So there are several signs of resilience. 43 00:02:36,689 –> 00:02:38,992 There is a survivor mentality. 44 00:02:38,992 –> 00:02:42,061 They view themselves as a survivor, even when things get tough, 45 00:02:42,061 –> 00:02:44,397 they can keep going until they make it through. 46 00:02:44,397 –> 00:02:46,950 So I guess they can see the light at the end of the tunnel 47 00:02:46,950 –> 00:02:50,753 and they know that okay, things are bad now, but I know it’s going to get better. 48 00:02:51,721 –> 00:02:53,873 They have effective emotional regulation, 49 00:02:54,624 –> 00:02:57,660 ability to manage emotions in the face of stress. 50 00:02:58,494 –> 00:03:01,281 I kind of go back again to a vaginal delivery. 51 00:03:01,281 –> 00:03:02,599 You know, that a lot of times it’s 52 00:03:02,599 –> 00:03:06,452 a very stressful situation and we have to kind of put on our own lifejacket 53 00:03:06,953 –> 00:03:10,640 and sit there and think, okay, what are we going to do? 54 00:03:10,790 –> 00:03:13,610 So and we realized that as a resilient person, 55 00:03:13,610 –> 00:03:17,146 those feelings are temporary and can be managed until they pass. 56 00:03:17,964 –> 00:03:20,149 Resilient people feel in control. 57 00:03:20,667 –> 00:03:23,670 They have a strong internal focus locus of control, 58 00:03:23,903 –> 00:03:27,357 and their actions can play a part in determining the outcomes of events. 59 00:03:28,157 –> 00:03:30,093 They also have problem solving skills. 60 00:03:30,093 –> 00:03:32,662 So when faced with a problem, instead of looking at, 61 00:03:32,662 –> 00:03:35,899 Oh, this is a terrible problem, what can we do to fix it? 62 00:03:36,032 –> 00:03:39,686 What can we do to come up with a solution so we’re not lost in the muck and the 63 00:03:39,686 –> 00:03:41,004 mire of the actual problem? 64 00:03:42,422 –> 00:03:45,141 I think number five is the most important thing self-compassion. 65 00:03:45,625 –> 00:03:49,262 They actually resilient people treat themselves with kindness 66 00:03:49,495 –> 00:03:52,582 instead of when you’re in a bad situation, getting down on yourself, 67 00:03:52,916 –> 00:03:56,753 you say, okay, I know it’s bad, but I’m okay, you know? 68 00:03:56,753 –> 00:04:01,107 And when things are hard, probably the words that you would say to 69 00:04:01,107 –> 00:04:04,227 someone else, that’s really when you need to tell yourself those same words. 70 00:04:04,527 –> 00:04:06,980 You know, you need to first be nice to yourself. 71 00:04:06,980 –> 00:04:08,848 You can easily be 72 00:04:08,848 –> 00:04:12,168 compassionate to other people, but that self-compassion really does help. 73 00:04:12,802 –> 00:04:14,721 And then number six, social support. 74 00:04:14,721 –> 00:04:19,909 So in situations that people find stressful, resilient 75 00:04:19,909 –> 00:04:23,880 people have a good social support network, and those people 76 00:04:23,997 –> 00:04:25,498 surround themselves with support. 77 00:04:25,498 –> 00:04:28,284 And no one asks for, you know, no one to ask for help. 78 00:04:28,918 –> 00:04:29,569 Dr. Guthrie 79 00:04:31,921 –> 00:04:33,723 So, yes, it’s it’s 80 00:04:33,723 –> 00:04:37,727 with the past couple of years, this has been a topic that’s been 81 00:04:39,329 –> 00:04:42,265 coming to the forefront for a lot of people. 82 00:04:42,265 –> 00:04:44,267 And I’m going to talk about types of resilience. 83 00:04:44,600 –> 00:04:46,219 Dr. Greene is kind of touched on them, 84 00:04:46,219 –> 00:04:48,054 but I’m going to kind of go in a little bit more detail. 85 00:04:48,054 –> 00:04:50,340 So first, there’s physical resilience. 86 00:04:50,757 –> 00:04:53,760 So there are people who, because of their health status, 87 00:04:54,677 –> 00:04:57,146 they’re able to withstand certain stresses. 88 00:04:57,347 –> 00:05:00,600 And it’s how your body deals with change 89 00:05:00,600 –> 00:05:03,469 and demands and illnesses and injuries. 90 00:05:03,870 –> 00:05:07,407 And so this has an important role in your overall health 91 00:05:07,407 –> 00:05:09,692 being physically resilient. 92 00:05:09,692 –> 00:05:11,811 It also affects the way you age. 93 00:05:11,811 –> 00:05:13,680 So you’re going to last longer. 94 00:05:13,680 –> 00:05:18,267 You’re going to go that extra five, ten years of life. 95 00:05:18,685 –> 00:05:23,489 And it’s also how we recover from physical stress and medical illnesses. 96 00:05:24,741 –> 00:05:25,758 And so there are ways 97 00:05:25,758 –> 00:05:28,795 that you can improve your physical resilience. 98 00:05:28,795 –> 00:05:31,764 And that’s, you know, eating well, getting enough sleep, 99 00:05:31,798 –> 00:05:35,151 you know, taking care of your body and your physical health. 100 00:05:36,269 –> 00:05:38,521 Then there’s mental resilience. 101 00:05:38,521 –> 00:05:43,142 And this is where you’re able to adapt to change and uncertainty. 102 00:05:43,826 –> 00:05:47,447 You have to be a person who is flexible in that, not thinking. 103 00:05:47,447 –> 00:05:49,882 There’s just only one way to go down a path 104 00:05:49,882 –> 00:05:51,300 because if you get a block in one 105 00:05:51,300 –> 00:05:53,753 path, you’re just not going to sit there and not move. 106 00:05:54,320 –> 00:05:56,606 You have to now think, okay, which way can I go? 107 00:05:56,606 –> 00:05:58,875 Let me turn around or let me turn left. Let me turn right. 108 00:05:58,891 –> 00:06:00,443 Let me get around it. 109 00:06:00,443 –> 00:06:03,179 So that’s the way of of overcoming crisis. 110 00:06:04,280 –> 00:06:05,548 And it’s also, as Dr. 111 00:06:05,548 –> 00:06:09,001 Greene just mentioned, it’s the mental capacity of problem solving 112 00:06:10,019 –> 00:06:11,003 and coming up with 113 00:06:11,003 –> 00:06:13,339 different ways to handle these setbacks. 114 00:06:14,157 –> 00:06:19,429 And then there’s emotional resilience and it’s the ability to regulate emotions, 115 00:06:19,429 –> 00:06:22,949 meaning it’s not that you don’t feel the same distress 116 00:06:23,933 –> 00:06:26,719 or concern or anxiety 117 00:06:27,003 –> 00:06:31,657 or sadness, whatever the stressor is, it’s how you regulate it, meaning that 118 00:06:31,674 –> 00:06:34,761 you don’t just go flying off the handle, running down the street, screaming, 119 00:06:35,328 –> 00:06:37,130 it is one way to handle it, 120 00:06:37,130 –> 00:06:40,767 or it doesn’t necessarily mean just tightening up and closing things off 121 00:06:40,767 –> 00:06:44,937 completely and not having a release for those emotions. 122 00:06:44,937 –> 00:06:49,108 But you’re able to, depending on the situation, monitor 123 00:06:49,292 –> 00:06:51,894 and regulate your emotional response 124 00:06:52,195 –> 00:06:54,897 to situations. 125 00:06:54,931 –> 00:06:58,201 And you’re keeping things clearly in mind that, you know, 126 00:06:58,201 –> 00:07:01,220 this is something that it’s temporary and you’re going to overcome it. 127 00:07:01,888 –> 00:07:05,158 And then there’s social resilience, which is kind of like the community 128 00:07:05,191 –> 00:07:07,560 mentality, and it’s how people come together 129 00:07:07,560 –> 00:07:10,129 in times of disasters and things like that. 130 00:07:10,129 –> 00:07:14,400 So you see this mainly around times like with the hurricane or flood flooding 131 00:07:14,400 –> 00:07:17,570 in a city or whatever, that people kind of come together to help each other 132 00:07:18,504 –> 00:07:19,972 overcome these setbacks. 133 00:07:21,541 –> 00:07:25,044 They’re also causes of of of resilience. 134 00:07:25,044 –> 00:07:28,764 And some people just have the natural ability 135 00:07:29,182 –> 00:07:32,185 to be this way, like they’re cool cucumbers 136 00:07:32,185 –> 00:07:36,139 the way that, you know, they they’re able to handle anything. 137 00:07:36,139 –> 00:07:37,907 They’re like the one that everybody looks to like. 138 00:07:37,907 –> 00:07:40,309 Something goes wrong, and everybody just turns to that person. 139 00:07:40,610 –> 00:07:43,529 And they’re usually the ones that have a resilience. 140 00:07:43,529 –> 00:07:47,467 And so it can be dependent on personality traits. 141 00:07:47,817 –> 00:07:52,371 There’s some genetics involved in it physical fitness, mental health. 142 00:07:52,371 –> 00:07:57,410 All these things have to do with having that natural resilience. 143 00:07:57,410 –> 00:08:03,082 But you can develop resilience, you know, teaching yourself ways to cope. 144 00:08:03,382 –> 00:08:06,869 And like I said, when you do all those things that make you healthy, that 145 00:08:08,070 –> 00:08:12,058 putting yourself in good situations, concentrating on a positive outlook, 146 00:08:12,058 –> 00:08:16,712 all these things help to build your resilience in certain situations. 147 00:08:16,712 –> 00:08:19,098 Having a positive self-image, that’s Dr. 148 00:08:19,098 –> 00:08:21,767 Greene mentioned it’s that be kind to yourself it’s 149 00:08:22,101 –> 00:08:24,887 you know a lot of people are perfectionists or 150 00:08:25,972 –> 00:08:29,242 feel like they have to be perfect. 151 00:08:29,242 –> 00:08:31,727 Some of the most successful people out there, 152 00:08:31,911 –> 00:08:34,797 Steve Jobs, then J.K. 153 00:08:34,797 –> 00:08:38,367 Rowling, who wrote Harry Pot, these are people who for a period of time 154 00:08:38,367 –> 00:08:41,637 in their lives, nothing was going on or whatever 155 00:08:41,637 –> 00:08:44,040 they were attempting was failing. 156 00:08:44,757 –> 00:08:45,841 But then look at them. 157 00:08:45,841 –> 00:08:48,678 If they had just packed up their toys and gone home, 158 00:08:49,762 –> 00:08:52,648 nothing like that, there’d be no Harry Potter. 159 00:08:52,648 –> 00:08:53,132 All right. 160 00:08:53,149 –> 00:08:56,335 How could we live our lives without any Harry Potter or Apple? 161 00:08:56,802 –> 00:08:58,254 Imagine a world without Apple. 162 00:08:58,254 –> 00:09:01,073 Okay, as we all look at our heads there. 163 00:09:02,091 –> 00:09:05,361 But these are people who did not let those setbacks 164 00:09:06,679 –> 00:09:07,580 break them down. 165 00:09:07,580 –> 00:09:11,000 And they continued and went on to to accomplish 166 00:09:11,000 –> 00:09:13,436 all the things that they were destined to do. 167 00:09:14,237 –> 00:09:17,006 And you want to be a fighter, not a victim, like, you know, 168 00:09:17,340 –> 00:09:21,260 you know, don’t just cower in a corner, you know, be able to kind of 169 00:09:21,260 –> 00:09:25,398 put up a mount a defense, you know, as to what’s going on. So. 170 00:09:26,449 –> 00:09:27,650 Yeah, one of the reasons I 171 00:09:27,650 –> 00:09:31,254 was really interested in this topic as I traveled recently, 172 00:09:31,254 –> 00:09:33,873 I was having a conversation with the clinical psychologist 173 00:09:34,373 –> 00:09:36,626 and she was talking about 174 00:09:38,878 –> 00:09:40,830 a lot of what she has been dealing with over 175 00:09:40,830 –> 00:09:44,700 the last two years with her clients, with her patients. 176 00:09:44,700 –> 00:09:47,837 And, you know, she she used the term with 177 00:09:48,504 –> 00:09:51,023 and she mentioned that because of like 178 00:09:51,540 –> 00:09:55,127 everything that was happening all at the same time, 179 00:09:55,711 –> 00:09:59,665 that she found that, you know, most of her patients and just people knew her, 180 00:09:59,699 –> 00:10:01,884 they just they just had no bandwidth, you know, 181 00:10:01,884 –> 00:10:03,869 she said it’s like when you stress that rubber band 182 00:10:03,869 –> 00:10:05,237 as far as it can possibly go, 183 00:10:05,237 –> 00:10:07,523 and then the next thing for it to do is just break and snap 184 00:10:07,907 –> 00:10:11,060 because there’s just they don’t have the bandwidth, they don’t have that 185 00:10:12,111 –> 00:10:13,279 resilience. 186 00:10:13,279 –> 00:10:14,630 And so, you know, that’s 187 00:10:14,630 –> 00:10:19,201 a part of the impact of resilience and the article that we are referencing, 188 00:10:19,201 –> 00:10:22,672 it made a statement that resilience is what gives people 189 00:10:23,122 –> 00:10:28,044 the psychological strength to cope with stress and hardship. 190 00:10:28,044 –> 00:10:30,529 And the other term they use it, I thought was really cool. 191 00:10:30,529 –> 00:10:33,349 As they said, it’s a mental reservoir of strength. 192 00:10:34,317 –> 00:10:39,422 Again, this is what you call on in times of stress, you know, 193 00:10:39,422 –> 00:10:43,225 so that you can carry on without necessarily falling apart. 194 00:10:44,427 –> 00:10:48,030 Being a resilient person is not eliminating stress, 195 00:10:48,531 –> 00:10:51,867 and it doesn’t erase, you know, any of life’s difficulties. 196 00:10:52,468 –> 00:10:54,654 But people who possess resilience 197 00:10:54,654 –> 00:10:58,758 as a quality, they’re able to draw from this reservoir. 198 00:10:59,358 –> 00:11:01,677 They’re not looking at life through rose colored lenses. 199 00:11:01,677 –> 00:11:03,979 So it’s not like they’re just like, Oh, no, everything’s wonderful. 200 00:11:03,979 –> 00:11:04,764 Everything’s fine. 201 00:11:04,764 –> 00:11:07,616 Now you’re dealing with the reality of your circumstances. 202 00:11:07,967 –> 00:11:12,088 But they understand that setbacks happen is not to go through with just saying, 203 00:11:12,388 –> 00:11:17,727 and that sometimes life is hard and painful, but they still learn 204 00:11:17,727 –> 00:11:21,714 to process these negative emotions that may come after a tragedy. 205 00:11:22,131 –> 00:11:26,218 But their mental outlook allows them to work through these feelings 206 00:11:26,218 –> 00:11:30,022 and then to recover. 207 00:11:30,022 –> 00:11:32,608 And so, again, one of the things I want to talk about and Dr. 208 00:11:32,608 –> 00:11:33,292 Greene and Dr. 209 00:11:33,292 –> 00:11:36,829 Guthrie have both talked about this is how we can all become more resilient. 210 00:11:37,997 –> 00:11:39,949 Dr. Greene 211 00:11:39,949 –> 00:11:42,268 She is like the positive one of all of us. 212 00:11:42,752 –> 00:11:44,303 She’s always positive. 213 00:11:44,303 –> 00:11:48,541 So whenever, you know, I may be griping about something, she goes, Well, you know, 214 00:11:48,741 –> 00:11:53,095 but you know, it could be X, Y, Z, PD, Q And I’m just like, okay, well, fine. 215 00:11:53,929 –> 00:11:56,432 And so that’s a part of reframing negative 216 00:11:56,432 –> 00:11:59,752 thoughts as a way to become more resilient. 217 00:11:59,752 –> 00:12:04,290 Resilient people are able to look at negative situations realistically, 218 00:12:04,907 –> 00:12:07,760 but in a way that doesn’t center on blame 219 00:12:07,760 –> 00:12:10,579 or brooding about what you cannot change, 220 00:12:11,480 –> 00:12:15,017 so that instead of viewing adversity as insurmountable, 221 00:12:15,534 –> 00:12:19,855 they reframe their thoughts and they look for small ways to tackle 222 00:12:19,855 –> 00:12:24,210 the problem that can make small changes that eventually lead to larger changes. 223 00:12:24,210 –> 00:12:25,461 They can help 224 00:12:25,945 –> 00:12:26,579 another way. 225 00:12:26,579 –> 00:12:29,331 We can all become more resilient and help those around us. 226 00:12:29,331 –> 00:12:32,418 To become more resilient is that you seek support. 227 00:12:33,536 –> 00:12:34,820 And support doesn’t necessarily 228 00:12:34,820 –> 00:12:37,940 have to be professional support, although that is encouraged as well. 229 00:12:38,424 –> 00:12:40,443 But don’t isolate yourself. 230 00:12:40,643 –> 00:12:46,382 And I think that’s been the unfortunate consequence of this pandemic. 231 00:12:46,382 –> 00:12:50,152 In particular, it’s because people who maybe have already had a tendency 232 00:12:50,152 –> 00:12:54,173 to kind of be cave dwellers, you know, they just burrowed in, 233 00:12:55,007 –> 00:12:58,794 you know, to the point where it can sometimes become more pathological. 234 00:12:58,794 –> 00:13:00,412 So again, you seek support. 235 00:13:00,412 –> 00:13:03,799 So whether that’s sharing with a friend or a loved one, 236 00:13:04,917 –> 00:13:08,120 you know, communities of support where you’re all experiencing 237 00:13:08,120 –> 00:13:10,790 the same kinds of things so that you can talk about 238 00:13:11,123 –> 00:13:12,057 how you’ve come up 239 00:13:12,057 –> 00:13:15,077 with ways to manage what you’re doing, you hear what someone else is done. 240 00:13:15,411 –> 00:13:19,165 And so it helps you to come up with new ideas for managing. 241 00:13:19,165 –> 00:13:22,218 And then, you know, something that I have had to really work 242 00:13:22,218 –> 00:13:26,672 on is another strategy for improving or increasing 243 00:13:26,672 –> 00:13:31,310 your resilience is to focus on what is within your control. 244 00:13:32,778 –> 00:13:34,129 If you let your mind just 245 00:13:34,129 –> 00:13:38,117 ruminate on something that you cannot control, 246 00:13:38,117 –> 00:13:40,803 then you just find yourself spiraling downward. 247 00:13:41,670 –> 00:13:44,490 But instead, when faced with a crisis or a problem, 248 00:13:44,990 –> 00:13:47,610 you know, it can be easy to get overwhelmed. 249 00:13:47,610 –> 00:13:52,832 But what we want to do is to try to let’s let’s think about what in this situation 250 00:13:52,998 –> 00:13:56,418 that I can control or that I can change or that I can impact 251 00:13:56,902 –> 00:13:58,938 and then focus on that. 252 00:13:58,938 –> 00:14:00,890 And then, of course, managing stress. 253 00:14:00,890 –> 00:14:04,043 I think in all of our 254 00:14:04,043 –> 00:14:07,079 podcasts that we’ve done over the last three years, 255 00:14:08,280 –> 00:14:11,000 these same recurring themes come up 256 00:14:11,700 –> 00:14:13,969 managing your stress in healthy ways, 257 00:14:15,170 –> 00:14:17,373 exercise, healthy eating. 258 00:14:17,840 –> 00:14:20,125 They talk about expressive writing, journaling, 259 00:14:20,359 –> 00:14:23,996 you know, sometimes just writing it down, getting it out. 260 00:14:24,330 –> 00:14:28,167 Biofeedback techniques, taking time to just stop, 261 00:14:29,034 –> 00:14:33,622 breathe, close your eyes, center yourself, 262 00:14:34,106 –> 00:14:38,694 and then continue effective communication again. 263 00:14:38,694 –> 00:14:40,796 You know, stating what you thought 264 00:14:40,796 –> 00:14:44,366 you heard the person say, say, this is what I think you mean. 265 00:14:44,850 –> 00:14:46,819 If it’s not helped me to understand. 266 00:14:46,819 –> 00:14:51,056 So really focusing on effective communication and effective communication 267 00:14:51,056 –> 00:14:53,342 is not just what you’re saying, but how you’re listening 268 00:14:53,943 –> 00:14:56,428 and making sure that you’re being an active listener 269 00:14:57,296 –> 00:15:00,082 so that you can make sure that you verify 270 00:15:00,082 –> 00:15:03,352 and confirm what the person told you 271 00:15:03,352 –> 00:15:06,538 and how your perception of what they told you is what they meant. 272 00:15:07,489 –> 00:15:09,391 Muscle relaxation techniques. 273 00:15:09,391 –> 00:15:11,727 They’re just a number of different things 274 00:15:11,727 –> 00:15:14,463 that you can do to try to help to manage stress. 275 00:15:14,463 –> 00:15:17,483 And we’re all going to continue to have stress in one form or another. 276 00:15:17,900 –> 00:15:22,855 And so finding healthy ways to manage that is a way of building resilience, 277 00:15:23,222 –> 00:15:26,759 building that emotional resilience, physical resilience, 278 00:15:26,759 –> 00:15:28,677 as well as mental resilience. 279 00:15:28,677 –> 00:15:32,698 So another point that I wanted to make with how we increase our resilience 280 00:15:32,698 –> 00:15:37,803 and why I also wanted to talk about this in today’s podcast is to ask ourselves, 281 00:15:37,803 –> 00:15:42,358 you know, how have we become more resilient over the last 2 to 3 years? 282 00:15:42,992 –> 00:15:45,628 And before the pandemic happened, you know, 283 00:15:45,628 –> 00:15:48,631 March of 2020, 284 00:15:48,631 –> 00:15:53,552 I was already trying to make certain lifestyle changes 285 00:15:54,303 –> 00:15:57,723 being very aware of 286 00:15:58,607 –> 00:16:01,944 doing the things that I need to do to age well, 287 00:16:03,078 –> 00:16:04,313 because one of the things I 288 00:16:04,313 –> 00:16:08,117 have seen, you know, in other friends and family 289 00:16:09,118 –> 00:16:12,121 is because of just life happening and different 290 00:16:12,121 –> 00:16:15,991 things that occur to them as they continue to age. 291 00:16:15,991 –> 00:16:21,380 You could really see the impact of that diminish resilience 292 00:16:21,380 –> 00:16:26,635 or decrease ability to cope, decrease physical ability. 293 00:16:27,119 –> 00:16:29,638 So I really wanted to start to focus 294 00:16:29,638 –> 00:16:32,691 on being more intentional 295 00:16:33,058 –> 00:16:36,478 about again, healthy movement, healthy eating, 296 00:16:36,962 –> 00:16:40,199 focusing on healthy relationships, 297 00:16:40,883 –> 00:16:43,919 friendships, family relationships, 298 00:16:44,119 –> 00:16:48,173 you know, romantic relationships, finding those things that fuel my tank, 299 00:16:48,624 –> 00:16:53,178 you know, whether it’s emotional tank, you know, my physical tank. 300 00:16:53,629 –> 00:16:55,314 And then during the pandemic, 301 00:16:55,314 –> 00:16:57,833 especially in the shutdown, when we all got sent home, 302 00:16:58,851 –> 00:17:00,719 I was like, wow, 303 00:17:01,103 –> 00:17:06,592 now is an opportunity to really see what is important, who is important, 304 00:17:07,826 –> 00:17:10,763 what is important, and how do I want to maximize that? 305 00:17:10,763 –> 00:17:14,750 Not just now, you know, at that time in March of 2020, 306 00:17:14,750 –> 00:17:18,470 but also to be intentional about 307 00:17:19,938 –> 00:17:23,242 becoming habitual with those things for the rest of my life. 308 00:17:23,792 –> 00:17:26,662 I don’t know if you all have any other thoughts about things and resilience 309 00:17:26,662 –> 00:17:29,214 and how yours may have changed or increase or improved 310 00:17:30,032 –> 00:17:31,433 over the last couple of three years. 311 00:17:31,433 –> 00:17:32,217 In particular. 312 00:17:32,217 –> 00:17:35,387 As I was saying in mind, that, you know, resilience is not necessarily 313 00:17:35,387 –> 00:17:41,310 always a natural personality trait or gift, but 314 00:17:42,361 –> 00:17:44,897 I have concerns that we’re not teaching our kids resilience 315 00:17:44,897 –> 00:17:49,101 nowadays, that 316 00:17:50,402 –> 00:17:55,974 you find experience and you gain knowledge about yourself 317 00:17:56,125 –> 00:18:00,229 and about even what process you’re going through, through. 318 00:18:00,963 –> 00:18:04,917 And I don’t want to use the word failure like it’s a badge, but or losses 319 00:18:04,917 –> 00:18:08,937 or the word they like these words use the word setbacks, but like things 320 00:18:08,937 –> 00:18:12,708 like where and and, you know, of course, kids, you know, you want all kids to be 321 00:18:12,741 –> 00:18:13,909 happy all the time. 322 00:18:14,960 –> 00:18:15,294 But if 323 00:18:15,294 –> 00:18:19,098 you if you teach a child that everything has to go their way 324 00:18:19,131 –> 00:18:23,969 all the time when they are grown and when real life hits. 325 00:18:24,236 –> 00:18:24,837 And they face a. 326 00:18:24,837 –> 00:18:27,873 Challenge and they face a challenge, you know, like I said, 327 00:18:27,873 –> 00:18:31,009 so trophies for everyone in a way. 328 00:18:31,009 –> 00:18:32,761 I mean, I can see that like just participate. 329 00:18:32,761 –> 00:18:36,865 But if you teach a child that no matter what, I’m going to win and get a trophy, 330 00:18:36,865 –> 00:18:38,750 then when they don’t get that trophy 331 00:18:38,750 –> 00:18:41,753 that they’re going to now expect, that can be an issue. 332 00:18:42,571 –> 00:18:46,859 And so that’s that’s one of the concerns that I have nowadays. 333 00:18:46,859 –> 00:18:49,728 And we’re not allowing kids to 334 00:18:51,213 –> 00:18:53,482 work things out for themselves, meaning 335 00:18:54,032 –> 00:18:57,419 and I in no way 336 00:18:57,419 –> 00:19:01,557 say, you know, I totally agree that bullying and things, infighting 337 00:19:01,557 –> 00:19:04,293 and all that is absolutely wrong, that it shouldn’t happen. 338 00:19:05,210 –> 00:19:06,228 But life happens. 339 00:19:06,228 –> 00:19:09,865 And sometimes we I think we are stepping in too soon, 340 00:19:10,983 –> 00:19:13,068 that a lot of times kids will work it out. 341 00:19:13,068 –> 00:19:16,972 Then say, I have a story like when when we were growing up, my brother, 342 00:19:17,422 –> 00:19:18,624 I was a tomboy. 343 00:19:18,624 –> 00:19:22,494 So there was there was me and then my brother and then four boys. 344 00:19:22,794 –> 00:19:25,430 And as our next door neighbors, I was surrounded with boys. 345 00:19:25,430 –> 00:19:28,200 But there was one boy who was like my brother’s exact age 346 00:19:28,734 –> 00:19:32,037 and they used to butt heads, but they were the best of friends, 347 00:19:32,037 –> 00:19:33,722 so they would be like a huge blow. 348 00:19:33,722 –> 00:19:35,340 They’d be fighting 349 00:19:35,574 –> 00:19:38,460 and then we’d have to bring em apart and and we’re trying to gather around them 350 00:19:38,460 –> 00:19:39,928 or whatever. And then we start talking to each other. 351 00:19:39,928 –> 00:19:41,213 The next thing we know, they’ve gone. 352 00:19:41,213 –> 00:19:43,048 They’re finished, they’re done with it. 353 00:19:43,048 –> 00:19:45,617 They’ve moved on and things are okay. 354 00:19:45,801 –> 00:19:49,254 So typically the next day things are probably be okay with kids. 355 00:19:49,254 –> 00:19:51,506 But when we make it an issue, 356 00:19:51,506 –> 00:19:54,776 when we come up to the school and we do all this stuff and we, 357 00:19:54,960 –> 00:19:57,779 you know, you can’t be her friend anymore and things like that, 358 00:19:58,046 –> 00:20:02,267 I think it helps too to foster those type of things. 359 00:20:02,267 –> 00:20:04,970 That kid that, you know, I wonder about kids today that, you know, 360 00:20:04,970 –> 00:20:08,240 why why are all these young people going back to elementary schools 361 00:20:08,240 –> 00:20:11,610 and high schools to work out their issues with, 362 00:20:12,227 –> 00:20:15,530 you know, to work out their issues, you know. 363 00:20:16,765 –> 00:20:18,533 Not again before you going to have to go through 364 00:20:18,533 –> 00:20:21,653 because you’re a parent and you’ve you’ve you’ve raised some man boys. 365 00:20:22,404 –> 00:20:24,506 I mean, so what’s your thoughts about that? 366 00:20:24,740 –> 00:20:30,479 I would agree that the whole participation trophy, I do think is a factor. 367 00:20:30,896 –> 00:20:32,281 And when you said that 368 00:20:32,281 –> 00:20:34,850 we don’t people didn’t have the bandwidth during the pandemic, 369 00:20:35,300 –> 00:20:38,003 that was definitely demonstrated in the kids 370 00:20:38,036 –> 00:20:41,156 and they didn’t have the bandwidth to cope with what happened. 371 00:20:41,373 –> 00:20:43,642 They had no idea. 372 00:20:43,642 –> 00:20:46,612 You know, as adults, we’ve been through some things. 373 00:20:46,762 –> 00:20:49,398 You know, we’ve had we’ve had losses, we’ve had setbacks, 374 00:20:49,398 –> 00:20:50,432 we’ve had those things. 375 00:20:50,432 –> 00:20:54,803 And I think that the pandemic highly cited problems 376 00:20:54,803 –> 00:20:57,889 in how our our society has come. 377 00:20:57,889 –> 00:20:59,958 And the kids are one of those victims. 378 00:20:59,958 –> 00:21:03,812 You know, even patients that I saw, they would say, 379 00:21:03,812 –> 00:21:07,849 well, you know, they don’t have the they don’t have the Wi-Fi. 380 00:21:07,849 –> 00:21:10,168 So, you know, we couldn’t learn anything, you know. 381 00:21:10,168 –> 00:21:12,387 So for the last three months of that year, they learned nothing. 382 00:21:12,387 –> 00:21:15,807 And they and they were okay with it and they were really okay with it. 383 00:21:16,141 –> 00:21:19,878 And they learned how to just kind of skim the surface of everything. 384 00:21:20,162 –> 00:21:22,014 Teachers have told me now that, 385 00:21:22,014 –> 00:21:25,884 you know, in addition to all the setbacks we had in terms of 386 00:21:26,852 –> 00:21:28,854 just emotionally for the kids 387 00:21:28,854 –> 00:21:31,757 academically, there were setbacks because they realized that 388 00:21:32,040 –> 00:21:35,160 they could just get to the top of things and skim the surface 389 00:21:35,394 –> 00:21:37,112 and they could get a good grade. 390 00:21:37,112 –> 00:21:39,331 And that’s, again, a participation trophy 391 00:21:39,331 –> 00:21:41,066 because they really weren’t doing the work. 392 00:21:41,066 –> 00:21:42,951 And we’re not teaching them how to do the work. 393 00:21:42,951 –> 00:21:44,670 And so now we’re trying to correct that. 394 00:21:44,670 –> 00:21:49,458 And I think that it is hard not to want your kids to do better than you. 395 00:21:49,708 –> 00:21:53,028 It is hard not to step in and try to fix things. 396 00:21:53,312 –> 00:21:57,032 But when you find that your child and I can give perfect examples of things 397 00:21:57,032 –> 00:22:01,053 my kids just don’t know because they don’t read like they should. 398 00:22:01,053 –> 00:22:02,487 They haven’t experienced things 399 00:22:02,487 –> 00:22:04,823 because we’ve sheltered them, because that’s a good thing. 400 00:22:05,157 –> 00:22:07,292 You know that now they’re in that situation of, 401 00:22:07,459 –> 00:22:09,161 you know, I don’t know how to change a tire 402 00:22:09,161 –> 00:22:10,645 or I don’t, you know, I don’t know what to do. 403 00:22:10,645 –> 00:22:12,781 So we’re always having to teach them 404 00:22:12,781 –> 00:22:14,816 because they didn’t learn through the experience. 405 00:22:15,117 –> 00:22:15,901 Maybe they didn’t. 406 00:22:17,336 –> 00:22:21,089 And that’s a problem, because you’re right, that tank that you fill 407 00:22:21,123 –> 00:22:23,658 with those setbacks and the things that don’t go your way, 408 00:22:23,992 –> 00:22:25,761 that’s what you go back to. 409 00:22:25,761 –> 00:22:28,230 That’s how you got through that. That’s how you get through it. 410 00:22:28,230 –> 00:22:31,350 You know, when the pandemic hit, 411 00:22:31,350 –> 00:22:36,538 I think I did better 2020 than I did 2021, just in terms of, okay, 412 00:22:36,922 –> 00:22:41,910 you know, we’ve had bad things happen, you know, and financially, 413 00:22:41,910 –> 00:22:45,180 spiritually, and we got out of it and some will get out of this. 414 00:22:45,597 –> 00:22:48,316 But then 2021 came, it was like, Wait, what happened? 415 00:22:48,316 –> 00:22:49,401 We’re still here. 416 00:22:49,401 –> 00:22:52,337 I was good in the beginning. Then I tanked. 417 00:22:52,637 –> 00:22:55,073 I had a low point. Yeah, but it was not until 21. 418 00:22:55,073 –> 00:22:59,010 Yeah, 21 was definitely when it was like this is still going on, you know. 419 00:22:59,311 –> 00:23:03,799 And just trying to figure out, okay, now I can go with the whole 420 00:23:03,982 –> 00:23:05,867 I’ve been through this before, I can get through it, 421 00:23:05,867 –> 00:23:07,853 but I need to find something else. 422 00:23:07,853 –> 00:23:08,370 You know. 423 00:23:08,370 –> 00:23:11,423 So that’s part of what we talked about as reframing thoughts. 424 00:23:11,423 –> 00:23:13,258 Yes, seeking support. 425 00:23:13,258 –> 00:23:15,510 And so what I. Know what you can do with. Meditation. 426 00:23:15,827 –> 00:23:19,281 You know, I found that meditation was the key for me, you know, 427 00:23:19,281 –> 00:23:21,349 because it really allowed me to 428 00:23:21,349 –> 00:23:23,301 as you say, there are certain things you can’t control. 429 00:23:23,301 –> 00:23:25,670 I can’t control my breath, you know. 430 00:23:25,670 –> 00:23:29,991 And so taking a deep breath makes a difference in a lot of situations. 431 00:23:30,258 –> 00:23:31,943 You know, when you’re feeling anxious 432 00:23:31,943 –> 00:23:35,630 about something and thinking, you know, things are spiraling out of control. 433 00:23:35,847 –> 00:23:39,651 If you focus on your breathing and kind of bring yourself back to your center, 434 00:23:39,985 –> 00:23:43,321 then it’s like, okay, this is not as bad as I think. 435 00:23:44,005 –> 00:23:46,525 This could be worse and it’s not as bad as I think. 436 00:23:46,675 –> 00:23:50,028 You know, this getting back whole mindset out of control. 437 00:23:50,362 –> 00:23:54,416 I had a run one afternoon where my I could not control my breath 438 00:23:54,416 –> 00:23:58,370 and it was the worst run and it was then I realized that 439 00:23:58,587 –> 00:24:00,288 that really is important and everything. 440 00:24:00,288 –> 00:24:01,940 You know, I just I felt horrible. 441 00:24:01,940 –> 00:24:04,009 I felt horrible afterwards. I felt like I was. 442 00:24:04,042 –> 00:24:06,261 Were you just distracted? You you remember. What? 443 00:24:06,445 –> 00:24:07,345 It was hot. 444 00:24:07,345 –> 00:24:12,150 And I was trying to just get through it, and I was pushing myself too hard. 445 00:24:12,150 –> 00:24:13,768 And I wasn’t focusing on all the things 446 00:24:13,768 –> 00:24:15,437 you have to do when you actually have a run. 447 00:24:15,437 –> 00:24:18,890 And as you get older, you actually do have to really focus on that. 448 00:24:18,890 –> 00:24:21,593 You can’t just go out there and say, I’m just going to do it. 449 00:24:21,893 –> 00:24:25,730 You really have to focus on, okay, you know, my feet hit the ground. 450 00:24:25,997 –> 00:24:28,283 I wasn’t running 5 minutes ago and now I am running. 451 00:24:28,283 –> 00:24:30,769 My body has to get used to that. It’s kind of like getting up in the morning. 452 00:24:30,902 –> 00:24:32,904 You go from sleep to move to motion. 453 00:24:32,904 –> 00:24:34,072 Your body has to adjust. 454 00:24:34,072 –> 00:24:37,075 You can’t go from walking to running and your mind doesn’t catch up. 455 00:24:37,075 –> 00:24:38,360 But if you focus on your breath 456 00:24:38,360 –> 00:24:42,447 and kind of let the run catch up to you, then it’s a better run. 457 00:24:42,481 –> 00:24:44,816 It’s not always a great run, but it’s definitely not horrible. 458 00:24:44,816 –> 00:24:47,853 And that was just a horrible run because I was to focus on the end 459 00:24:48,119 –> 00:24:49,404 of, you know, I’ve got to 460 00:24:49,404 –> 00:24:52,741 I’ve got to get this done because I got stuff to do, you know, and, 461 00:24:53,041 –> 00:24:56,161 you know, put myself in the moment and really kind of saying, okay, 462 00:24:56,328 –> 00:25:00,031 this is what I’m doing now let’s focus on what I’m doing now. 463 00:25:00,031 –> 00:25:01,883 And again, it’s back to that whole control. 464 00:25:01,883 –> 00:25:04,019 You know, I can control now. 465 00:25:04,019 –> 00:25:06,204 I can’t control what happens tomorrow. That’s right. 466 00:25:06,538 –> 00:25:07,255 You know, I can tell. 467 00:25:07,255 –> 00:25:09,024 What happened. Yesterday or what happened yesterday. 468 00:25:09,024 –> 00:25:12,027 And I also can’t, like I said, ruminate on what happened, 469 00:25:12,077 –> 00:25:14,546 you know, because then you do tend to just kind of spiral down. 470 00:25:15,564 –> 00:25:17,933 And so I think that’s kind of what, you know, kind of 471 00:25:17,933 –> 00:25:22,037 I realized in 2021, you know, that, okay, here we are and hey, we’re going to be 472 00:25:22,637 –> 00:25:26,691 so I need to find other other methods that are going to help me 473 00:25:26,691 –> 00:25:29,995 be more resilient and be, you know, be and be that positive person. 474 00:25:30,779 –> 00:25:33,331 But I try. Do you do you do a good job? 475 00:25:33,565 –> 00:25:35,700 But there’s something else you have to say. 476 00:25:35,700 –> 00:25:36,117 Yeah. 477 00:25:36,117 –> 00:25:40,939 And then also, I think as I’ve tried to focus on my own resilience, 478 00:25:40,939 –> 00:25:44,125 I’ve also been 479 00:25:44,359 –> 00:25:46,728 aware of friends 480 00:25:46,912 –> 00:25:51,049 when I see that they are spiraling, you know, or ruminating 481 00:25:51,049 –> 00:25:55,620 or brooding too long, you know, staying in the cave too long. 482 00:25:56,388 –> 00:25:59,691 I also, you know, I think it’s important to kind of reach out 483 00:26:00,392 –> 00:26:05,430 when you see someone or a child, whether it’s an adult friend, a loved one. 484 00:26:05,430 –> 00:26:08,600 If you see that someone may be struggling or are you think that 485 00:26:08,600 –> 00:26:10,468 they could be struggling? You don’t know. 486 00:26:10,468 –> 00:26:14,239 I think is okay to to to to ask, you know, and to reach out. 487 00:26:14,239 –> 00:26:17,792 I think that interpersonal connection, um, 488 00:26:18,743 –> 00:26:21,029 that I think many of us probably took for granted 489 00:26:21,980 –> 00:26:25,917 before we didn’t have it, you know, when we had to stay separate and, 490 00:26:26,268 –> 00:26:29,337 or either form a little pod when we were in the, when we were in the pod season 491 00:26:29,988 –> 00:26:31,289 where you formed your little bubble. 492 00:26:31,289 –> 00:26:36,027 Um, we have to remember that I think is true. 493 00:26:36,027 –> 00:26:37,529 It’s become very common 494 00:26:37,529 –> 00:26:40,532 to say that we’re stronger together, you know, we’re better together. 495 00:26:40,532 –> 00:26:41,816 But that think that is true. 496 00:26:41,816 –> 00:26:42,500 Oh yeah. 497 00:26:42,500 –> 00:26:46,021 You know, and we don’t need to trivialize it just because now it’s become 498 00:26:46,738 –> 00:26:50,875 more catchphrase and everybody’s saying it and it’s on everyone’s slogan, 499 00:26:51,209 –> 00:26:54,479 but it is the truth that we’re human 500 00:26:54,980 –> 00:26:57,115 and we were designed for relationship. 501 00:26:57,716 –> 00:27:00,118 One of my pastors that I listen to, 502 00:27:00,468 –> 00:27:04,889 he says all the time, relationships are the currency of life. 503 00:27:04,923 –> 00:27:07,859 Yes, it’s your relationships and 504 00:27:08,877 –> 00:27:10,261 family relationships, 505 00:27:10,261 –> 00:27:13,281 friend relationships, love relationships 506 00:27:13,581 –> 00:27:17,936 that if you’re don’t have quality in those relationships, 507 00:27:18,570 –> 00:27:22,307 that does impact your resilience and your ability to go through 508 00:27:22,307 –> 00:27:25,644 the good things in life as well as those that are more challenging and setbacks. 509 00:27:27,078 –> 00:27:30,081 So again, we just wanted to talk 510 00:27:30,081 –> 00:27:34,703 more as we know this is all been difficult for all of us and challenging. 511 00:27:35,720 –> 00:27:39,841 And again, this is not to say that as a resilient person, you never have 512 00:27:39,841 –> 00:27:43,862 struggles, that you never have challenges, that life doesn’t get tough 513 00:27:44,396 –> 00:27:48,616 and that bad things don’t happen and that you don’t experience setbacks. 514 00:27:49,017 –> 00:27:52,704 But I think the take home message that we want for everyone to understand 515 00:27:52,704 –> 00:27:56,358 is that you don’t have to stay there, that we take control 516 00:27:56,358 –> 00:28:00,145 of what we can control, we reframe our negative thoughts. 517 00:28:00,145 –> 00:28:01,996 We seek support. 518 00:28:01,996 –> 00:28:04,582 We try to find healthy ways of managing stress 519 00:28:05,417 –> 00:28:07,886 and to stay connected and present in the moment. 520 00:28:08,820 –> 00:28:11,956 So we hope that this has been a good conversation and gotten some people 521 00:28:11,956 –> 00:28:15,860 thinking and thinking of ways that you may be able to improve your own resilience 522 00:28:15,860 –> 00:28:18,863 as we go forward and connect with family and friends as well. 523 00:28:19,130 –> 00:28:21,900 So please continue to listen to our podcast. 524 00:28:21,900 –> 00:28:25,787 We really want to provide not just clinical information 525 00:28:26,538 –> 00:28:29,841 but also just other general topics that impact your overall 526 00:28:29,841 –> 00:28:32,877 health and wellbeing and your overall life. 527 00:28:33,595 –> 00:28:35,997 So you can always find us at our Web 528 00:28:35,997 –> 00:28:39,150 site, PTC, OBGYN dot com. 529 00:28:39,834 –> 00:28:41,936 We’re available wherever you get your pods 530 00:28:42,320 –> 00:28:45,173 as well as on all the different social media platforms. 531 00:28:45,473 –> 00:28:49,461 So continue to connect with us and share this program with your family and friends. 532 00:28:49,761 –> 00:28:51,679 And for this episode, I’m Dr. 533 00:28:51,679 –> 00:28:52,914 Mironda Williams. 534 00:28:52,914 –> 00:28:53,431 I’m Dr. 535 00:28:53,431 –> 00:28:54,599 Deanna Guthrie. 536 00:28:54,599 –> 00:28:57,635 And I’m Dr. Karen Greene. Take good care.