The Doctors discuss the traits of resilience and the importance of managing stress and dealing with setbacks.
Resilience Transcription
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Welcome to take good care.
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An endeavor of Peachtree City
Obstetric and Gynecology.
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Our aim and mission is to serve
as a source of vital
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information and discussion
for women of all ages.
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Races and walks in life.
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I’m Dr. Mironda Williams.
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I’m Dr.
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Deanna Guthrie, and I am Dr. Karen Greene.
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Welcome to our show.
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On today’s episode,
we thought we would take a look at a topic
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of resilience.
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I think everyone can attest to the fact
that the last
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2 to 3 years, in particular
with the pandemic
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and the effect that has had on everything
from the economy, supply chain,
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you know, just our public health,
just politically, everything.
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So to have that on top of just normal life
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challenges, I think the idea of resilience
and how we can be more resilient
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or can you improve your resilience
to help us all as
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we try to tackle all the different things
that life continues to throw at us?
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So we thought
we’d give a little bit of time
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just to put some information out
about this and to go into
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what is resilience
and are the different types of resilience.
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And again, what can we do
if we want to improve our own resilience
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or perhaps
even the resilience of loved ones?
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So we’ll get started. And I think Dr.
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Greene is going to get us going with
just explaining about what resilience is.
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Thank you, Dr. Williams.
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So we looked at an article
that specifically talked about resilience,
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and I think we all can attest
to the fact that the definition
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is resilience, is the ability to cope
with and recover from setbacks.
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You know, that
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said that people who remain calm
in the face of disaster are resilient.
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I’d probably say that anybody who delivers
a baby has to be resilient
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because you never know
what’s going to happen.
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People with psychological resilience
are able to use their skills and strengths
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to respond to life’s challenges
instead of falling into despair,
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hiding from issues or using unhealthy
coping, scatter strategies.
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What this does not mean
is that people who are resilient
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don’t experience
less distress, grief or anxiety.
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They just use healthy
coping skills that foster strength.
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They emerge
stronger than they were before.
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So there are several signs of resilience.
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There is a survivor mentality.
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They view themselves as a survivor,
even when things get tough,
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they can keep going
until they make it through.
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So I guess they can see the light
at the end of the tunnel
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and they know that okay, things are bad
now, but I know it’s going to get better.
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They have effective emotional regulation,
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ability
to manage emotions in the face of stress.
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I kind of go back again
to a vaginal delivery.
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You know, that a lot of times it’s
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a very stressful situation and we have to
kind of put on our own lifejacket
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and sit there and think, okay,
what are we going to do?
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So and we realized
that as a resilient person,
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those feelings are temporary
and can be managed until they pass.
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Resilient people feel in control.
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They have a strong internal focus
locus of control,
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and their actions can play a part
in determining the outcomes of events.
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They also have problem solving skills.
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So when faced with a problem,
instead of looking at,
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Oh, this is a terrible problem,
what can we do to fix it?
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What can we do to come up with a solution
so we’re not lost in the muck and the
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mire of the actual problem?
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I think number five is
the most important thing self-compassion.
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They actually resilient people
treat themselves with kindness
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instead of when you’re in a bad situation,
getting down on yourself,
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you say, okay,
I know it’s bad, but I’m okay, you know?
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And when things are hard,
probably the words that you would say to
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someone else, that’s really when you need
to tell yourself those same words.
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You know, you need to
first be nice to yourself.
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You can easily be
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compassionate to other people,
but that self-compassion really does help.
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And then number six, social support.
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So in situations
that people find stressful, resilient
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people have a good social support network,
and those people
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surround themselves with support.
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And no one asks for,
you know, no one to ask for help.
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Dr. Guthrie
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So, yes, it’s it’s
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with the past couple of years,
this has been a topic that’s been
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coming to the forefront
for a lot of people.
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And I’m going to talk about
types of resilience.
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Dr. Greene is kind of touched on them,
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but I’m going to kind of go
in a little bit more detail.
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So first, there’s physical resilience.
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So there are people who,
because of their health status,
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they’re able to withstand
certain stresses.
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And it’s how your body deals with change
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and demands and illnesses and injuries.
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And so this has an important role
in your overall health
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being physically resilient.
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It also affects the way you age.
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So you’re going to last longer.
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You’re going to go
that extra five, ten years of life.
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And it’s also how we recover from physical
stress and medical illnesses.
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And so there are ways
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that you can improve
your physical resilience.
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And that’s, you know, eating well,
getting enough sleep,
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you know, taking care of your body
and your physical health.
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Then there’s mental resilience.
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And this is where you’re able
to adapt to change and uncertainty.
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You have to be a person
who is flexible in that, not thinking.
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There’s just
only one way to go down a path
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because if you get a block in one
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path, you’re
just not going to sit there and not move.
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You have to now think, okay,
which way can I go?
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Let me turn around or let me turn left.
Let me turn right.
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Let me get around it.
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So that’s the way of of overcoming crisis.
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And it’s also, as Dr.
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Greene just mentioned, it’s
the mental capacity of problem solving
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and coming up with
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different ways to handle these setbacks.
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And then there’s emotional resilience
and it’s the ability to regulate emotions,
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meaning it’s
not that you don’t feel the same distress
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or concern or anxiety
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or sadness, whatever the stressor is, it’s
how you regulate it, meaning that
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you don’t just go flying off the handle,
running down the street, screaming,
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it is one way to handle it,
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or it doesn’t necessarily mean
just tightening up and closing things off
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completely and not having a release
for those emotions.
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But you’re able to,
depending on the situation, monitor
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and regulate your emotional response
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to situations.
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And you’re keeping things clearly in mind
that, you know,
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this is something that it’s temporary
and you’re going to overcome it.
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And then there’s social resilience,
which is kind of like the community
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mentality,
and it’s how people come together
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in times of disasters
and things like that.
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So you see this mainly around times
like with the hurricane or flood flooding
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in a city or whatever, that people
kind of come together to help each other
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overcome these setbacks.
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They’re also causes of of of resilience.
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And some people just have
the natural ability
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to be this way,
like they’re cool cucumbers
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the way that, you know,
they they’re able to handle anything.
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They’re like
the one that everybody looks to like.
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Something goes wrong,
and everybody just turns to that person.
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And they’re usually the ones
that have a resilience.
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And so it can be dependent on personality
traits.
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There’s some genetics involved in it
physical fitness, mental health.
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All these things have to do
with having that natural resilience.
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But you can develop resilience,
you know, teaching yourself ways to cope.
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And like I said, when you do all those
things that make you healthy, that
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putting yourself in good situations,
concentrating on a positive outlook,
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all these things help to build
your resilience in certain situations.
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Having a positive self-image, that’s Dr.
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Greene mentioned it’s
that be kind to yourself it’s
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you know
a lot of people are perfectionists or
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feel like they have to be perfect.
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Some of the most successful
people out there,
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Steve Jobs, then J.K.
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Rowling, who wrote Harry Pot,
these are people who for a period of time
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in their lives,
nothing was going on or whatever
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they were attempting was failing.
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But then look at them.
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If they had just packed up their toys
and gone home,
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nothing like that,
there’d be no Harry Potter.
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All right.
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How could we live our lives
without any Harry Potter or Apple?
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Imagine a world without Apple.
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Okay, as we all look at our heads there.
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But these are people
who did not let those setbacks
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break them down.
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And they continued
and went on to to accomplish
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all the things
that they were destined to do.
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And you want to be a fighter,
not a victim, like, you know,
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you know, don’t just cower in a corner,
you know, be able to kind of
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put up a mount a defense,
you know, as to what’s going on. So.
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Yeah, one of the reasons I
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was really interested in this topic
as I traveled recently,
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I was having a conversation
with the clinical psychologist
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and she was talking about
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a lot of what
she has been dealing with over
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the last two years
with her clients, with her patients.
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And, you know, she she used the term with
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and she mentioned that because of like
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everything that was happening
all at the same time,
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that she found that, you know, most
of her patients and just people knew her,
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they just
they just had no bandwidth, you know,
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she said it’s
like when you stress that rubber band
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as far as it can possibly go,
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and then the next thing for it to do
is just break and snap
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because there’s just they don’t
have the bandwidth, they don’t have that
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resilience.
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And so, you know, that’s
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a part of the impact of resilience
and the article that we are referencing,
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it made a statement that resilience is
what gives people
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the psychological strength
to cope with stress and hardship.
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And the other term they use it,
I thought was really cool.
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As they said,
it’s a mental reservoir of strength.
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Again, this is what you call on in
times of stress, you know,
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so that you can carry on
without necessarily falling apart.
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Being a resilient person
is not eliminating stress,
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and it doesn’t erase,
you know, any of life’s difficulties.
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But people who possess resilience
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as a quality,
they’re able to draw from this reservoir.
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They’re not looking at life
through rose colored lenses.
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So it’s not like they’re just like,
Oh, no, everything’s wonderful.
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Everything’s fine.
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Now you’re dealing with the reality
of your circumstances.
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But they understand that setbacks happen
is not to go through with just saying,
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and that sometimes life is hard
and painful, but they still learn
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to process these negative emotions
that may come after a tragedy.
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But their mental outlook
allows them to work through these feelings
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and then to recover.
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And so, again, one of the things
I want to talk about and Dr.
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Greene and Dr.
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Guthrie have both talked about this is how
we can all become more resilient.
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Dr. Greene
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She is like the positive one of all of us.
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She’s always positive.
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So whenever, you know, I may be griping
about something, she goes, Well, you know,
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but you know, it could be X, Y, Z, PD, Q
And I’m just like, okay, well, fine.
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And so that’s a part of reframing negative
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thoughts
as a way to become more resilient.
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Resilient people are able to look
at negative situations realistically,
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but in a way that doesn’t center on blame
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or brooding about what you cannot change,
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so that instead of viewing adversity
as insurmountable,
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they reframe their thoughts
and they look for small ways to tackle
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the problem that can make small changes
that eventually lead to larger changes.
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They can help
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another way.
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We can all become more resilient
and help those around us.
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To become more resilient
is that you seek support.
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And support doesn’t necessarily
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have to be professional support,
although that is encouraged as well.
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But don’t isolate yourself.
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And I think that’s been the unfortunate
consequence of this pandemic.
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In particular, it’s because people who
maybe have already had a tendency
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to kind of be cave dwellers,
you know, they just burrowed in,
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you know, to the point where it can
sometimes become more pathological.
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So again, you seek support.
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So whether that’s sharing with a friend
or a loved one,
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you know, communities of support
where you’re all experiencing
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the same kinds of things
so that you can talk about
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how you’ve come up
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with ways to manage what you’re doing,
you hear what someone else is done.
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And so it helps you to come up
with new ideas for managing.
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And then, you know,
something that I have had to really work
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on is another strategy for improving
or increasing
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your resilience is to focus on
what is within your control.
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If you let your mind just
245
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ruminate on something
that you cannot control,
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then you just find yourself
spiraling downward.
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But instead,
when faced with a crisis or a problem,
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you know,
it can be easy to get overwhelmed.
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But what we want to do is to try to let’s
let’s think about what in this situation
250
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that I can control
or that I can change or that I can impact
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and then focus on that.
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And then, of course, managing stress.
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I think in all of our
254
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podcasts
that we’ve done over the last three years,
255
00:14:08,280 –> 00:14:11,000
these same recurring themes come up
256
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managing your stress in healthy ways,
257
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exercise, healthy eating.
258
00:14:17,840 –> 00:14:20,125
They talk about expressive writing,
journaling,
259
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you know, sometimes just writing it down,
getting it out.
260
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Biofeedback techniques,
taking time to just stop,
261
00:14:29,034 –> 00:14:33,622
breathe, close your eyes, center yourself,
262
00:14:34,106 –> 00:14:38,694
and then continue
effective communication again.
263
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You know, stating what you thought
264
00:14:40,796 –> 00:14:44,366
you heard the person say, say,
this is what I think you mean.
265
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If it’s not helped me to understand.
266
00:14:46,819 –> 00:14:51,056
So really focusing on effective
communication and effective communication
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is not just what you’re saying,
but how you’re listening
268
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and making sure
that you’re being an active listener
269
00:14:57,296 –> 00:15:00,082
so that you can make sure that you verify
270
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and confirm what the person told you
271
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and how your perception
of what they told you is what they meant.
272
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Muscle relaxation techniques.
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They’re just a number of different things
274
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that you can do
to try to help to manage stress.
275
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And we’re all going to continue
to have stress in one form or another.
276
00:15:17,900 –> 00:15:22,855
And so finding healthy ways to manage
that is a way of building resilience,
277
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building that emotional resilience,
physical resilience,
278
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as well as mental resilience.
279
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So another point that I wanted to make
with how we increase our resilience
280
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and why I also wanted to talk about this
in today’s podcast is to ask ourselves,
281
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you know, how have we become more
resilient over the last 2 to 3 years?
282
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And before the pandemic happened,
you know,
283
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March of 2020,
284
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I was already trying to make certain
lifestyle changes
285
00:15:54,303 –> 00:15:57,723
being very aware of
286
00:15:58,607 –> 00:16:01,944
doing
the things that I need to do to age well,
287
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because one of the things I
288
00:16:04,313 –> 00:16:08,117
have seen, you know, in other friends
and family
289
00:16:09,118 –> 00:16:12,121
is because of just life happening
and different
290
00:16:12,121 –> 00:16:15,991
things that occur to them
as they continue to age.
291
00:16:15,991 –> 00:16:21,380
You could really see the impact
of that diminish resilience
292
00:16:21,380 –> 00:16:26,635
or decrease ability
to cope, decrease physical ability.
293
00:16:27,119 –> 00:16:29,638
So I really wanted to start to focus
294
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on being more intentional
295
00:16:33,058 –> 00:16:36,478
about again, healthy movement,
healthy eating,
296
00:16:36,962 –> 00:16:40,199
focusing on healthy relationships,
297
00:16:40,883 –> 00:16:43,919
friendships, family relationships,
298
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you know, romantic relationships,
finding those things that fuel my tank,
299
00:16:48,624 –> 00:16:53,178
you know, whether it’s emotional tank,
you know, my physical tank.
300
00:16:53,629 –> 00:16:55,314
And then during the pandemic,
301
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especially in the shutdown,
when we all got sent home,
302
00:16:58,851 –> 00:17:00,719
I was like, wow,
303
00:17:01,103 –> 00:17:06,592
now is an opportunity to really see
what is important, who is important,
304
00:17:07,826 –> 00:17:10,763
what is important,
and how do I want to maximize that?
305
00:17:10,763 –> 00:17:14,750
Not just now,
you know, at that time in March of 2020,
306
00:17:14,750 –> 00:17:18,470
but also to be intentional about
307
00:17:19,938 –> 00:17:23,242
becoming habitual with those things
for the rest of my life.
308
00:17:23,792 –> 00:17:26,662
I don’t know if you all have any
other thoughts about things and resilience
309
00:17:26,662 –> 00:17:29,214
and how yours may have changed or increase
or improved
310
00:17:30,032 –> 00:17:31,433
over the last couple of three years.
311
00:17:31,433 –> 00:17:32,217
In particular.
312
00:17:32,217 –> 00:17:35,387
As I was saying in mind, that,
you know, resilience is not necessarily
313
00:17:35,387 –> 00:17:41,310
always a natural personality
trait or gift, but
314
00:17:42,361 –> 00:17:44,897
I have concerns that we’re not teaching
our kids resilience
315
00:17:44,897 –> 00:17:49,101
nowadays, that
316
00:17:50,402 –> 00:17:55,974
you find experience
and you gain knowledge about yourself
317
00:17:56,125 –> 00:18:00,229
and about even what process
you’re going through, through.
318
00:18:00,963 –> 00:18:04,917
And I don’t want to use the word failure
like it’s a badge, but or losses
319
00:18:04,917 –> 00:18:08,937
or the word they like these words
use the word setbacks, but like things
320
00:18:08,937 –> 00:18:12,708
like where and and, you know, of course,
kids, you know, you want all kids to be
321
00:18:12,741 –> 00:18:13,909
happy all the time.
322
00:18:14,960 –> 00:18:15,294
But if
323
00:18:15,294 –> 00:18:19,098
you if you teach a child
that everything has to go their way
324
00:18:19,131 –> 00:18:23,969
all the time when they are grown
and when real life hits.
325
00:18:24,236 –> 00:18:24,837
And they face a.
326
00:18:24,837 –> 00:18:27,873
Challenge and they face a challenge,
you know, like I said,
327
00:18:27,873 –> 00:18:31,009
so trophies for everyone in a way.
328
00:18:31,009 –> 00:18:32,761
I mean, I can see that
like just participate.
329
00:18:32,761 –> 00:18:36,865
But if you teach a child that no matter
what, I’m going to win and get a trophy,
330
00:18:36,865 –> 00:18:38,750
then when they don’t get that trophy
331
00:18:38,750 –> 00:18:41,753
that they’re going to now
expect, that can be an issue.
332
00:18:42,571 –> 00:18:46,859
And so that’s that’s
one of the concerns that I have nowadays.
333
00:18:46,859 –> 00:18:49,728
And we’re not allowing kids to
334
00:18:51,213 –> 00:18:53,482
work things out for themselves, meaning
335
00:18:54,032 –> 00:18:57,419
and I in no way
336
00:18:57,419 –> 00:19:01,557
say, you know, I totally agree
that bullying and things, infighting
337
00:19:01,557 –> 00:19:04,293
and all that is absolutely wrong,
that it shouldn’t happen.
338
00:19:05,210 –> 00:19:06,228
But life happens.
339
00:19:06,228 –> 00:19:09,865
And sometimes we
I think we are stepping in too soon,
340
00:19:10,983 –> 00:19:13,068
that a lot of times kids will work it out.
341
00:19:13,068 –> 00:19:16,972
Then say, I have a story like when
when we were growing up, my brother,
342
00:19:17,422 –> 00:19:18,624
I was a tomboy.
343
00:19:18,624 –> 00:19:22,494
So there was there was me
and then my brother and then four boys.
344
00:19:22,794 –> 00:19:25,430
And as our next door neighbors,
I was surrounded with boys.
345
00:19:25,430 –> 00:19:28,200
But there was one boy who was like
my brother’s exact age
346
00:19:28,734 –> 00:19:32,037
and they used to butt heads,
but they were the best of friends,
347
00:19:32,037 –> 00:19:33,722
so they would be like a huge blow.
348
00:19:33,722 –> 00:19:35,340
They’d be fighting
349
00:19:35,574 –> 00:19:38,460
and then we’d have to bring em apart
and and we’re trying to gather around them
350
00:19:38,460 –> 00:19:39,928
or whatever.
And then we start talking to each other.
351
00:19:39,928 –> 00:19:41,213
The next thing we know, they’ve gone.
352
00:19:41,213 –> 00:19:43,048
They’re finished, they’re done with it.
353
00:19:43,048 –> 00:19:45,617
They’ve moved on and things are okay.
354
00:19:45,801 –> 00:19:49,254
So typically the next day
things are probably be okay with kids.
355
00:19:49,254 –> 00:19:51,506
But when we make it an issue,
356
00:19:51,506 –> 00:19:54,776
when we come up to the school
and we do all this stuff and we,
357
00:19:54,960 –> 00:19:57,779
you know, you can’t be her friend anymore
and things like that,
358
00:19:58,046 –> 00:20:02,267
I think it helps too
to foster those type of things.
359
00:20:02,267 –> 00:20:04,970
That kid that, you know,
I wonder about kids today that, you know,
360
00:20:04,970 –> 00:20:08,240
why why are all these young people
going back to elementary schools
361
00:20:08,240 –> 00:20:11,610
and high schools to work out their issues
with,
362
00:20:12,227 –> 00:20:15,530
you know, to work
out their issues, you know.
363
00:20:16,765 –> 00:20:18,533
Not again
before you going to have to go through
364
00:20:18,533 –> 00:20:21,653
because you’re a parent and you’ve you’ve
you’ve raised some man boys.
365
00:20:22,404 –> 00:20:24,506
I mean,
so what’s your thoughts about that?
366
00:20:24,740 –> 00:20:30,479
I would agree that the whole participation
trophy, I do think is a factor.
367
00:20:30,896 –> 00:20:32,281
And when you said that
368
00:20:32,281 –> 00:20:34,850
we don’t people didn’t have the bandwidth
during the pandemic,
369
00:20:35,300 –> 00:20:38,003
that was definitely demonstrated
in the kids
370
00:20:38,036 –> 00:20:41,156
and they didn’t have the bandwidth
to cope with what happened.
371
00:20:41,373 –> 00:20:43,642
They had no idea.
372
00:20:43,642 –> 00:20:46,612
You know, as adults,
we’ve been through some things.
373
00:20:46,762 –> 00:20:49,398
You know, we’ve had we’ve had losses,
we’ve had setbacks,
374
00:20:49,398 –> 00:20:50,432
we’ve had those things.
375
00:20:50,432 –> 00:20:54,803
And I think that the pandemic
highly cited problems
376
00:20:54,803 –> 00:20:57,889
in how our our society has come.
377
00:20:57,889 –> 00:20:59,958
And the kids are one of those victims.
378
00:20:59,958 –> 00:21:03,812
You know, even patients that I saw,
they would say,
379
00:21:03,812 –> 00:21:07,849
well, you know, they don’t have the
they don’t have the Wi-Fi.
380
00:21:07,849 –> 00:21:10,168
So, you know,
we couldn’t learn anything, you know.
381
00:21:10,168 –> 00:21:12,387
So for the last three months of that year,
they learned nothing.
382
00:21:12,387 –> 00:21:15,807
And they and they were okay with it
and they were really okay with it.
383
00:21:16,141 –> 00:21:19,878
And they learned how to just kind of skim
the surface of everything.
384
00:21:20,162 –> 00:21:22,014
Teachers have told me now that,
385
00:21:22,014 –> 00:21:25,884
you know, in addition
to all the setbacks we had in terms of
386
00:21:26,852 –> 00:21:28,854
just emotionally for the kids
387
00:21:28,854 –> 00:21:31,757
academically, there were setbacks
because they realized that
388
00:21:32,040 –> 00:21:35,160
they could just get to the top of things
and skim the surface
389
00:21:35,394 –> 00:21:37,112
and they could get a good grade.
390
00:21:37,112 –> 00:21:39,331
And that’s, again, a participation trophy
391
00:21:39,331 –> 00:21:41,066
because they really weren’t
doing the work.
392
00:21:41,066 –> 00:21:42,951
And we’re not teaching them
how to do the work.
393
00:21:42,951 –> 00:21:44,670
And so now we’re trying to correct that.
394
00:21:44,670 –> 00:21:49,458
And I think that it is hard not to want
your kids to do better than you.
395
00:21:49,708 –> 00:21:53,028
It is hard
not to step in and try to fix things.
396
00:21:53,312 –> 00:21:57,032
But when you find that your child
and I can give perfect examples of things
397
00:21:57,032 –> 00:22:01,053
my kids just don’t know
because they don’t read like they should.
398
00:22:01,053 –> 00:22:02,487
They haven’t experienced things
399
00:22:02,487 –> 00:22:04,823
because we’ve sheltered them,
because that’s a good thing.
400
00:22:05,157 –> 00:22:07,292
You know that
now they’re in that situation of,
401
00:22:07,459 –> 00:22:09,161
you know,
I don’t know how to change a tire
402
00:22:09,161 –> 00:22:10,645
or I don’t, you know,
I don’t know what to do.
403
00:22:10,645 –> 00:22:12,781
So we’re always having to teach them
404
00:22:12,781 –> 00:22:14,816
because they didn’t
learn through the experience.
405
00:22:15,117 –> 00:22:15,901
Maybe they didn’t.
406
00:22:17,336 –> 00:22:21,089
And that’s a problem, because
you’re right, that tank that you fill
407
00:22:21,123 –> 00:22:23,658
with those setbacks
and the things that don’t go your way,
408
00:22:23,992 –> 00:22:25,761
that’s what you go back to.
409
00:22:25,761 –> 00:22:28,230
That’s how you got through that.
That’s how you get through it.
410
00:22:28,230 –> 00:22:31,350
You know, when the pandemic hit,
411
00:22:31,350 –> 00:22:36,538
I think I did better 2020 than I did
2021, just in terms of, okay,
412
00:22:36,922 –> 00:22:41,910
you know, we’ve had bad things happen,
you know, and financially,
413
00:22:41,910 –> 00:22:45,180
spiritually, and we got out of it
and some will get out of this.
414
00:22:45,597 –> 00:22:48,316
But then 2021 came,
it was like, Wait, what happened?
415
00:22:48,316 –> 00:22:49,401
We’re still here.
416
00:22:49,401 –> 00:22:52,337
I was good in the beginning.
Then I tanked.
417
00:22:52,637 –> 00:22:55,073
I had a low point. Yeah,
but it was not until 21.
418
00:22:55,073 –> 00:22:59,010
Yeah, 21 was definitely when it was like
this is still going on, you know.
419
00:22:59,311 –> 00:23:03,799
And just trying to figure out,
okay, now I can go with the whole
420
00:23:03,982 –> 00:23:05,867
I’ve been through this before,
I can get through it,
421
00:23:05,867 –> 00:23:07,853
but I need to find something else.
422
00:23:07,853 –> 00:23:08,370
You know.
423
00:23:08,370 –> 00:23:11,423
So that’s part of what we talked about
as reframing thoughts.
424
00:23:11,423 –> 00:23:13,258
Yes, seeking support.
425
00:23:13,258 –> 00:23:15,510
And so what I. Know what you can do
with. Meditation.
426
00:23:15,827 –> 00:23:19,281
You know, I found that
meditation was the key for me, you know,
427
00:23:19,281 –> 00:23:21,349
because it really allowed me to
428
00:23:21,349 –> 00:23:23,301
as you say, there are certain things
you can’t control.
429
00:23:23,301 –> 00:23:25,670
I can’t control my breath, you know.
430
00:23:25,670 –> 00:23:29,991
And so taking a deep breath
makes a difference in a lot of situations.
431
00:23:30,258 –> 00:23:31,943
You know, when you’re feeling anxious
432
00:23:31,943 –> 00:23:35,630
about something and thinking, you know,
things are spiraling out of control.
433
00:23:35,847 –> 00:23:39,651
If you focus on your breathing and kind of
bring yourself back to your center,
434
00:23:39,985 –> 00:23:43,321
then it’s like, okay,
this is not as bad as I think.
435
00:23:44,005 –> 00:23:46,525
This could be worse
and it’s not as bad as I think.
436
00:23:46,675 –> 00:23:50,028
You know, this getting back
whole mindset out of control.
437
00:23:50,362 –> 00:23:54,416
I had a run one afternoon where my
I could not control my breath
438
00:23:54,416 –> 00:23:58,370
and it was the worst run
and it was then I realized that
439
00:23:58,587 –> 00:24:00,288
that really is important and everything.
440
00:24:00,288 –> 00:24:01,940
You know, I just I felt horrible.
441
00:24:01,940 –> 00:24:04,009
I felt horrible afterwards.
I felt like I was.
442
00:24:04,042 –> 00:24:06,261
Were you just distracted? You
you remember. What?
443
00:24:06,445 –> 00:24:07,345
It was hot.
444
00:24:07,345 –> 00:24:12,150
And I was trying to just get through it,
and I was pushing myself too hard.
445
00:24:12,150 –> 00:24:13,768
And I wasn’t focusing on all the things
446
00:24:13,768 –> 00:24:15,437
you have to do
when you actually have a run.
447
00:24:15,437 –> 00:24:18,890
And as you get older, you actually do
have to really focus on that.
448
00:24:18,890 –> 00:24:21,593
You can’t just go out there and say,
I’m just going to do it.
449
00:24:21,893 –> 00:24:25,730
You really have to focus on, okay,
you know, my feet hit the ground.
450
00:24:25,997 –> 00:24:28,283
I wasn’t running 5 minutes ago
and now I am running.
451
00:24:28,283 –> 00:24:30,769
My body has to get used to that. It’s
kind of like getting up in the morning.
452
00:24:30,902 –> 00:24:32,904
You go from sleep to move to motion.
453
00:24:32,904 –> 00:24:34,072
Your body has to adjust.
454
00:24:34,072 –> 00:24:37,075
You can’t go from walking to running
and your mind doesn’t catch up.
455
00:24:37,075 –> 00:24:38,360
But if you focus on your breath
456
00:24:38,360 –> 00:24:42,447
and kind of let the run catch up to you,
then it’s a better run.
457
00:24:42,481 –> 00:24:44,816
It’s not always a great run,
but it’s definitely not horrible.
458
00:24:44,816 –> 00:24:47,853
And that was just a horrible run
because I was to focus on the end
459
00:24:48,119 –> 00:24:49,404
of, you know, I’ve got to
460
00:24:49,404 –> 00:24:52,741
I’ve got to get this done
because I got stuff to do, you know, and,
461
00:24:53,041 –> 00:24:56,161
you know, put myself in the moment
and really kind of saying, okay,
462
00:24:56,328 –> 00:25:00,031
this is what I’m doing now
let’s focus on what I’m doing now.
463
00:25:00,031 –> 00:25:01,883
And again,
it’s back to that whole control.
464
00:25:01,883 –> 00:25:04,019
You know, I can control now.
465
00:25:04,019 –> 00:25:06,204
I can’t control what happens tomorrow.
That’s right.
466
00:25:06,538 –> 00:25:07,255
You know, I can tell.
467
00:25:07,255 –> 00:25:09,024
What happened. Yesterday
or what happened yesterday.
468
00:25:09,024 –> 00:25:12,027
And I also can’t, like I said, ruminate on
what happened,
469
00:25:12,077 –> 00:25:14,546
you know, because then you do tend
to just kind of spiral down.
470
00:25:15,564 –> 00:25:17,933
And so I think that’s kind of what,
you know, kind of
471
00:25:17,933 –> 00:25:22,037
I realized in 2021, you know, that, okay,
here we are and hey, we’re going to be
472
00:25:22,637 –> 00:25:26,691
so I need to find other
other methods that are going to help me
473
00:25:26,691 –> 00:25:29,995
be more resilient and be, you know, be
and be that positive person.
474
00:25:30,779 –> 00:25:33,331
But I try. Do you do you do a good job?
475
00:25:33,565 –> 00:25:35,700
But there’s something else
you have to say.
476
00:25:35,700 –> 00:25:36,117
Yeah.
477
00:25:36,117 –> 00:25:40,939
And then also, I think as I’ve tried
to focus on my own resilience,
478
00:25:40,939 –> 00:25:44,125
I’ve also been
479
00:25:44,359 –> 00:25:46,728
aware of friends
480
00:25:46,912 –> 00:25:51,049
when I see that they are spiraling,
you know, or ruminating
481
00:25:51,049 –> 00:25:55,620
or brooding too long,
you know, staying in the cave too long.
482
00:25:56,388 –> 00:25:59,691
I also, you know, I think it’s important
to kind of reach out
483
00:26:00,392 –> 00:26:05,430
when you see someone or a child,
whether it’s an adult friend, a loved one.
484
00:26:05,430 –> 00:26:08,600
If you see that someone may be struggling
or are you think that
485
00:26:08,600 –> 00:26:10,468
they could be struggling? You don’t know.
486
00:26:10,468 –> 00:26:14,239
I think is okay to to to to ask, you know,
and to reach out.
487
00:26:14,239 –> 00:26:17,792
I think that interpersonal connection, um,
488
00:26:18,743 –> 00:26:21,029
that I
think many of us probably took for granted
489
00:26:21,980 –> 00:26:25,917
before we didn’t have it, you know,
when we had to stay separate and,
490
00:26:26,268 –> 00:26:29,337
or either form a little pod when we were
in the, when we were in the pod season
491
00:26:29,988 –> 00:26:31,289
where you formed your little bubble.
492
00:26:31,289 –> 00:26:36,027
Um, we have to remember that
I think is true.
493
00:26:36,027 –> 00:26:37,529
It’s become very common
494
00:26:37,529 –> 00:26:40,532
to say that we’re stronger together,
you know, we’re better together.
495
00:26:40,532 –> 00:26:41,816
But that think that is true.
496
00:26:41,816 –> 00:26:42,500
Oh yeah.
497
00:26:42,500 –> 00:26:46,021
You know, and we don’t need to trivialize
it just because now it’s become
498
00:26:46,738 –> 00:26:50,875
more catchphrase and everybody’s saying it
and it’s on everyone’s slogan,
499
00:26:51,209 –> 00:26:54,479
but it is the truth that we’re human
500
00:26:54,980 –> 00:26:57,115
and we were designed for relationship.
501
00:26:57,716 –> 00:27:00,118
One of my pastors that I listen to,
502
00:27:00,468 –> 00:27:04,889
he says all the time, relationships
are the currency of life.
503
00:27:04,923 –> 00:27:07,859
Yes, it’s your relationships and
504
00:27:08,877 –> 00:27:10,261
family relationships,
505
00:27:10,261 –> 00:27:13,281
friend relationships, love relationships
506
00:27:13,581 –> 00:27:17,936
that if you’re don’t have quality
in those relationships,
507
00:27:18,570 –> 00:27:22,307
that does impact your resilience
and your ability to go through
508
00:27:22,307 –> 00:27:25,644
the good things in life as well as those
that are more challenging and setbacks.
509
00:27:27,078 –> 00:27:30,081
So again, we just wanted to talk
510
00:27:30,081 –> 00:27:34,703
more as we know this is all been difficult
for all of us and challenging.
511
00:27:35,720 –> 00:27:39,841
And again, this is not to say
that as a resilient person, you never have
512
00:27:39,841 –> 00:27:43,862
struggles, that you never have challenges,
that life doesn’t get tough
513
00:27:44,396 –> 00:27:48,616
and that bad things don’t happen
and that you don’t experience setbacks.
514
00:27:49,017 –> 00:27:52,704
But I think the take home message
that we want for everyone to understand
515
00:27:52,704 –> 00:27:56,358
is that you don’t have to stay there,
that we take control
516
00:27:56,358 –> 00:28:00,145
of what we can control,
we reframe our negative thoughts.
517
00:28:00,145 –> 00:28:01,996
We seek support.
518
00:28:01,996 –> 00:28:04,582
We try to find healthy ways
of managing stress
519
00:28:05,417 –> 00:28:07,886
and to stay connected
and present in the moment.
520
00:28:08,820 –> 00:28:11,956
So we hope that this has been
a good conversation and gotten some people
521
00:28:11,956 –> 00:28:15,860
thinking and thinking of ways that you may
be able to improve your own resilience
522
00:28:15,860 –> 00:28:18,863
as we go forward and connect
with family and friends as well.
523
00:28:19,130 –> 00:28:21,900
So please
continue to listen to our podcast.
524
00:28:21,900 –> 00:28:25,787
We really want to provide
not just clinical information
525
00:28:26,538 –> 00:28:29,841
but also just other general topics
that impact your overall
526
00:28:29,841 –> 00:28:32,877
health and wellbeing
and your overall life.
527
00:28:33,595 –> 00:28:35,997
So you can always find us at our Web
528
00:28:35,997 –> 00:28:39,150
site, PTC, OBGYN dot com.
529
00:28:39,834 –> 00:28:41,936
We’re available wherever you get your pods
530
00:28:42,320 –> 00:28:45,173
as well as on
all the different social media platforms.
531
00:28:45,473 –> 00:28:49,461
So continue to connect with us and share
this program with your family and friends.
532
00:28:49,761 –> 00:28:51,679
And for this episode, I’m Dr.
533
00:28:51,679 –> 00:28:52,914
Mironda Williams.
534
00:28:52,914 –> 00:28:53,431
I’m Dr.
535
00:28:53,431 –> 00:28:54,599
Deanna Guthrie.
536
00:28:54,599 –> 00:28:57,635
And I’m Dr. Karen Greene. Take good care.
