In this episode of the Take Good Care podcast, Dr. Williams, Dr. Guthrie, and Dr. Greene continue the discussion on designing your life. They dig deeper into the buckets of their lives, “design thinking,” and more.
Transcript
Mironda Williams:
Welcome to Take Good Care podcast.
Deanna Guthrie:
An endeavor that grew out of our love for obstetrics and gynecology.
Karen Greene:
Our aim and mission is to serve as a source of vital information for women of all races, ages, and walks in life.
Mironda Williams:
I am Dr. Mironda Williams.
Deanna Guthrie:
I am Dr. Deanna Guthrie.
Karen Greene:
And I am Dr. Karen Greene. Welcome to our show.
Deanna Guthrie:
Welcome to our show.
Mironda Williams:
Welcome to our show. Welcome to this episode of Take Good Care podcast. I’m Dr. Mironda Williams.
Deanna Guthrie:
I’m Dr. Deanna Guthrie.
Karen Greene:
And I’m Dr. Karen Greene.
Mironda Williams:
So for those of you who checked in to the episode just before this one, we were having a conversation about designing your life or your life buckets, and how does that help us to continue on our journey of moving from a chaotic situation to a more calm situation. So with this episode, we’re going to pick up that conversation and get into now some more specifics about the whole idea of design thinking or designing your life, leading your life. And in that previous episode, we talked about the information that I shared with my partners from a course that I took about designing your life or design thinking and how you need to lead your life, as opposed to not let life just happen to you.
So in addition to the other things we talked about in the previous episode about determining who you are, what you believe and what you’re doing, that helps to inform all those things. The book also goes into the concept of either gauges or buckets, and how as you’re thinking about designing your life and making sure that your life is walking out in the way that you want it to do and not just letting it happen to you, that a tool that they suggested you use is to think about your life in different categories or gauges or buckets. And then once you look at your life in these buckets or gauges, you decide, “Okay, is this bucket full, half full, not full at all, nothing in it?” And once you make that assessment, you start to decide, how do you get your bucket to fill or what is it that you need to do? So we’re going to talk about that a little bit more in detail today. And again, this is a continuation of a conversation we had with our last episode. And I’m Dr. Mironda Williams.
Deanna Guthrie:
I’m Dr. Deanna Guthrie.
Karen Greene:
And I’m Dr. Karen Greene.
Mironda Williams:
And we are still live and on the air. But in this segment, I want to talk about these buckets. And so the book, and again, the book that we use in the course by Bill Burnett and Dale Evans, Designing Your Life, How to Build a Well-Lived Joyful Life, was a great, great tool for the course and something I still continue to refer back to. So there are four buckets or gauges that they suggest you look at your life. And so, you can have your health bucket. And health is not just about your physical health. It’s your emotional health, your spiritual health, your mental health. And so whatever ideas or tasks or thoughts that fill that health bucket or gauge, you conceptualize it in that aspect.
Then you have a work bucket. And work is not just what you’re paid for. Work means, how do you participate in the great ongoing human adventure on the planet? So that could be definitely what you are being paid for, what your profession may be, but it may be other forms of work, whether that’s community work or other types of things where you are engaging with other people for the greater good.
Then there’s your play bucket or your play gauge. And play is just like when we were all kids and you just ran outside to play simply for the joy of it. Whatever the task was, whatever you did, whatever activity that you considered as play was just for the joy of it. It wasn’t to achieve anything. It wasn’t to make anything better. You’re not trying to save the world and cure cancer. You’re just having fun. You’re just doing something that’s joyful. Play is any activity that brings you joy when you do it, just for the sake of doing it.
And then there’s your love bucket or your love gauge. And love is not just of course, romantic love, though of course, it includes that. It’s love that can come in any variety that’s family love, love between friends, community love. So there’s all kinds of ways that you may experience love. And love is not just what you give out, but also, how do you receive love? How do you feel love? How do you experience love? And what kinds of things go into that bucket?
So, when we talked about this two years ago in our previous episode on season four and we thought about our buckets, and again, in that episode, we talked about our buckets and we talked about what buckets may or may not be full and not full and why, but we didn’t really talk a lot about the bucket, each individual, each of our buckets. What’s in the bucket, what we wanted to be in the bucket, which bucket was full? Why? Why not? What kinds of things that we’re going do? So before we talk about specifically, ladies, what’s in our bucket, just in general, did you notice if there was any change in your buckets and your bucket capacities from 2023 until now?
Karen Greene:
I listened to the episode and back then, I said that my play bucket was probably a cup full. And I think that my play bucket has gotten a little bit bigger, in all honesty.
Mironda Williams:
You mean, fuller?
Karen Greene:
Well, that’s true, I guess.
Mironda Williams:
Yeah. You say, yeah.
Karen Greene:
It was a cup before. It has gotten full. I have a bucket now. There’s actually something in it. And I really had to think hard because back then, my question to myself was, what do I do just because I enjoy it? And so, when I was thinking about how we were going to talk about this again, I said, “Okay, what is it that I do that I just enjoy?” And I joined the gym since probably that last episode, I think. Time passes strangely lately. And joining the gym is of course, the health and the running. And for me, I joined it because of the classes because I wanted to do something with other people. And so there’s one class that I take, and clearly, the class is about the fun. Yes, it’s exercise, but it honestly, is a lot of fun. And so-
Mironda Williams:
So it’s doing two buckets.
Karen Greene:
It is doing two buckets, but I’m not going to get all my steps in that particular class. But I go there because I have friends there and I have people that I have met specifically that were in that class. And so they enjoy that type of play, per se. And we all admit, we just have a lot of fun in the class. And so for me, that fulfills some of my fun. And I didn’t really realize until I reflected on, why am I always wanting to be there on time and get to the class and see the people? It’s because I want to talk to them at the beginning. I want to jump around and do all the fancy moves. There’s some I can do and some I can’t do. And then I want to talk to them at the end and catch up and hang out.
So that’s something outside of anything else that I do. And I totally do it because I enjoy it. I really enjoy it. And I have to come to grips with, it’s okay to just really enjoy it and do it for myself and not feel bad about, my husband wasn’t ready to go and I just left him at the house and went. Because that has happened several times.
Mironda Williams:
But we’re not counting.
Karen Greene:
He is, but we’re not.
Mironda Williams:
But okay, I’m going to challenge you a little bit. So when the book describes your love bucket, it says that love, the things that go into your love bucket are things that give you a sense of connection, a sense of relationship, and that you feel that flowing in two directions. You to them, they back to you. So could you also be getting a little of your love bucket filled with this too?
Karen Greene:
Yeah.
Mironda Williams:
Because it’s a sense of connection. Well, that’s what I heard you describing.
Karen Greene:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely the connection.
Mironda Williams:
Thee connection with the people who are there, similar interests that you all have, and just that camaraderie that you experience. And I think that’s one of the things they talk about, things may overflow into other buckets, and that’s okay.
Karen Greene:
I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right, it probably does, which is probably why I’m so adamant about, “This is important to me right now.” Because there are a lot of things I didn’t do up until recently, and now, I’m finding things that I want to do. And I think one of the things we had talked about, trying to find stuff that we want to do just because we want to do it. And that’s okay.
Mironda Williams:
Just for the fun of it.
Karen Greene:
Right. Just for the fun of it.
Mironda Williams:
So is there anything else you can think of as time goes on, that you want to add to your play bucket? An activity that’s just for the joy of it, that you may not be doing now, that you may think you want to do down the line? If you don’t think of one, I got one that you told me.
Karen Greene:
Well, the thing I know I want to do that probably won’t do as a couple, because I like to go places and look at things.
Mironda Williams:
Give me a little bit more detail.
Karen Greene:
Okay. I would want to go to Paris and look at the Eiffel Tower. My husband does not want to do that. I want to go to-
Deanna Guthrie:
I’m going to see the Eiffel Tower a couple of times.
Karen Greene:
Yes. I want to go to wherever and look at the mountain, or look at the pasture or look at the landscape, or just look at the paintings in the museum. He’s not going to do that.
Mironda Williams:
Okay.
Karen Greene:
And so for me, I’m going to have to figure out a way to do that and find the people that want to do that with me because clearly, that’s not something he’s going to want to do. He’s just not going to do it. He’s not going to read the information as you go through the museum. I’m going to read all that because that actually, that brings me joy. I enjoy that. And I don’t feel like I have to justify that, but I truly enjoy it.
Mironda Williams:
Absolutely.
Karen Greene:
So what were you thinking?
Mironda Williams:
Your cake decorating class.
Karen Greene:
Oh, that too, yes. Oh yeah, oh yeah. That’s definitely something that’s on my list, the cake decorating class.
Mironda Williams:
So just make sure you leave that. That’s got to go into your bucket.
Karen Greene:
Oh yeah, that has to go into my play bucket.
Mironda Williams:
Yeah.
Deanna Guthrie:
I’ve had that on the list too.
Mironda Williams:
All right. Dr. Guthrie, what about your buckets? What’s the state of your buckets?
Deanna Guthrie:
Things are flowing in and out of each bucket, kind of like with Karen with some are fulfilling multiple buckets. My health bucket, that has lessened and that-
Mironda Williams:
It’s not as full as you want it.
Deanna Guthrie:
Not as full as I want it to be, because my health bucket used to be my play bucket. I loved working out. That was where people who thought it was [inaudible 00:11:08]. They have to get up every morning. Like you, Karen, I looked forward to it every time. I enjoyed the actual exertion and accomplishment of the workout, but I also had connections with people in different types of… And I’ve done several different things. So there’s that. My work bucket, if work is not just your profession and what you’re doing, we’ve talked about the sorority that we’re all members of, I’m getting fulfillment from that, but it also fulfills my fun bucket because of the social activities that are coming from that. And my love bucket, because I’ve found sisterly friends that I’m getting closer to. So things I’m doing right now, I guess I’m being efficient. One activity is going to take care of all of them.
Karen Greene:
Yeah. And the chips fulfill your type A personality.
Deanna Guthrie:
Yeah, yes.
Mironda Williams:
And the what fills what now?
Deanna Guthrie:
So we have to fill these bags every week, and it always brings me stuff-
Mironda Williams:
Okay, I see. Help me because I was lost.
Deanna Guthrie:
It was correct, all of it.
Mironda Williams:
Hold on. Give the people a little bit more. The rest of us don’t know what you all are talking about.
Deanna Guthrie:
So for our community service, one of the things that we do is we pack bags with food items for food insecurity in the schools. And so literally, we have a list of what goes in each bag and we do it like as an assembly line. And again, I’m type A, so I usually am the one-
Mironda Williams:
Hold up, pause. So in our previous episode, one of the things that we talked about is really trying to come up with descriptions and understanding who you are, who we are as individuals, what we believe as individuals, and then what activities we’re doing and does it all align? So in the previous episode that you need to take a listen to if you haven’t already, one of the things that we were challenging Dr. Guthrie on doing was describing herself as to who she is. Well, guess what? She just said one thing.
Deanna Guthrie:
I did, I just did.
Mironda Williams:
You are type A, so embrace that. Understand it and embrace it.
Deanna Guthrie:
Yes.
Mironda Williams:
Carry on.
Deanna Guthrie:
Okay. And Karen has witnessed this. So literally, you set up if it’s 40 items, five items in a bag and you’re doing 40 bags, you set out 40 of each item, and then you’re supposed to go down the line. And we try to line up people who put one item in the bag until it gets to the end of the line. Well…
Mironda Williams:
It doesn’t always work.
Deanna Guthrie:
It doesn’t always work.
Mironda Williams:
Condition.
Deanna Guthrie:
And I don’t even understand why. And so, I’ve even had other friends who have witnessed this and say, “Deanna, your face is so funny when it doesn’t work out.” You’re just like, “I don’t understand why.”
Mironda Williams:
Now we know because you’re a type A.
Deanna Guthrie:
I’m a type A person.
Mironda Williams:
So you need things to make sense that does not make sense and to be in order.
Karen Greene:
But when it works, it fulfills… She’s joyous.
Mironda Williams:
Right.
Deanna Guthrie:
So that does bring me joy.
Mironda Williams:
That’s good to know.
Deanna Guthrie:
In fact, they took a picture because I did, “Yay.” And she goes, “Stop. Do that again, because I need to take a picture of that.” But anyway, like I was saying, a lot of my activities, I’m being efficient, so they’re filling all the buckets. But something that we said in the last episode too, was things that you look forward to, to doing for self-care. And I now have all this time, but I’m not doing… I’m thinking I would do more with more time, but I’m doing less with more time.
Mironda Williams:
Less activities.
Deanna Guthrie:
Less activities. And so, when you mentioned to Karen a cake decorating class, it made me think, “Oh my God, I did have that on my list.” I actually had looked one up, but because of call schedules back then with OB, couldn’t do it. And then one thing too that I’ll tell Karen, is that I’ve always been the more jealous… Or I admire that you did it, but I always wanted to and just never did, was like a martial arts class. Yeah, to do martial arts because I love action movies and I love-
Mironda Williams:
Because you are type A.
Deanna Guthrie:
I love action movies. And especially when women fight, I’d love to see that.
Mironda Williams:
Why? Because you like women’s empowerment.
Deanna Guthrie:
Yes.
Mironda Williams:
I’m just helping you to give words to yourself, so that you can develop the activities that will align with those things, which is all good.
Deanna Guthrie:
There you go.
Mironda Williams:
Yes. Anything else right now? Okay. Very good. Very good. We achieved such progress-
Deanna Guthrie:
I have a name for things.
Mironda Williams:
… yes, with this. This is good. This is good. We have names. We’re collecting names, understanding ourselves better. This is what we want to do. So as we’re looking at our buckets, where our buckets may have been in terms of how full they were at the time or needed to be two years ago and where we are now, one of the questions I put out to my partners is, what if anything, has changed in the last couple of years? Has anything changed in your personal life, your professional life, at work, at home, those kinds of things? And for me, within the last six months, and this speaks to the love bucket or the love gauge, the other thing about me and both my father and I, we’re at a situation right now where we don’t have a pet.
Ever since I was two years old, I’ve always had a pet. We’ve always had dogs. We’re a dog family. And so I grew up with dogs. Even after I left home and went on to do my own thing, my father always had a dog. And then when I got my own home, I’ve always had a dog. So my most recent pet, Rocky, is no longer here. I don’t want to cry. He was my buddy. So my love bucket is really struggling because I didn’t realize how much of a space that it was going to leave. And I knew he was getting older. I had Rocky for almost 12, 13 years. He was almost 17. He would have been 17 this month. At the time of recording, it’s February, and so he would have been 17 years old this month.
And because of the time and the effort that it takes to be a pet owner, if you’re a true pet owner, people, do not get a pet. I don’t care if it’s a fish. If you’re not going to love your pet, care for your pet, be there for your pet, support your pet through the good and the challenging times. And so as Rocky was getting older and starting to have health challenges, and just because of again, who I am now in my life, what I believe now in my life, and some of the activities and the things that I want to do that align with those activities, I really question as to whether or not I wanted to get another dog when Rocky crossed the rainbow bridge.
Earlier in the year, last year, my father also lost his pet. And again, he’s older. He’s having more health challenges. He has other things. And so I asked him, “Daddy, do you want us to get you another dog, and blah, blah, blah?” And he was like, “You know Mironda, I don’t know if I want to hurt like this again.” He’s like, “I don’t know if I want to love something to lose it again.” And I totally understand that.
So now that Rocky is gone, neither one of us have that in our love buckets because we love animals. And animals give you just love. They just love you. They just love you. So my love bucket is struggling. And then in a personal relationship, that scenario has shifted. So where I am now is really trying to understand and decide, how can I impact that? What kinds of activities do I need to do? I’m not at the point where even though every time I see a cute little puppy face, but then I have to remind myself, but where I am now in my life, what I believe now in my life, and some of the things I want to hopefully do in the future, and to be the kind of pet owner that I would have to be, do I want to take that on right now?
So I’m not at the point where I want to say, yes or no. It’s too soon. But what kinds of activities do I want to think about doing that help align with who I am and what I believe, as it relates to my love bucket or gauge? In addition, from a work standpoint, I have a very fulfilling profession, I have a very fulfilling job. We have a very fulfilling practice here. We’ve built, I think, a wonderful work community, and that has been very important to me. However, as I continue to remind myself, who am I now, what do I believe now, and what kinds of things do I want to be able to do in my future, that’s helping to inform activities that I may decide to do or not do as it relates to work.
It doesn’t change the fulfilling nature that work has been up until this point. But again, sometimes we have to push ourselves to get out of our comfort zones to say, “Just because this is how things have gone in work and what other people say work should look like, is that what I need to do to keep myself in a calm situation and not a chaotic situation by making some changes in how I work?” So I’m blessed to have work not just professionally. I also do work in the community. I’m on a couple of nonprofit boards that allow me to have impact in my community, and that is beautiful and wonderful and fulfilling work that I don’t get paid for in a financial sense, but it does help to inform my work.
Where I am now in terms of work, and the work bucket and the work gauge, and how I see my work changing over the next 10 years or so, is that I want to shift the time and energy. I talked about this in the last episode. For me, time is very critical. Energy is very critical. I only have so much time. I only have so much energy. So, how do I want to shift how I spend time and energy with work? I need to be able to shift away from the work that pays me financially, to doing more work that pays me in the heart because that helps to fill my love bucket. It can help to fill my play bucket and it definitely helps to fill my health bucket. Not just being physical health, but more importantly for me, spiritual health, mental health and emotional health.
So while the bucket probably contains the same in terms of amount of work in the bucket, how the work in the bucket is used is going to shift. It is going to shift because that is how I can continue to have good mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, and also physical health. So from that health bucket, in the previous episode, I talked about having defined time in my schedule now for prayer. I shared with Dr. Greene, the other thing I did at the beginning of this year, I was like, “Okay.” Because thankfully, in my health bucket, one of the things that I had very specific, and I can see if the other ladies want to share too, when I did the coursework two years ago and we had to talk about some of this, we had to come up with actionable goals.
The other thing about design thinking and designing your life and the reason why you are looking at your life and the different things that inform your life in terms of buckets, is you want to be able to come up with actionable goals, actionable things to do. We talked about two years ago in the previous episode, if you can’t change it, don’t worry about that. Don’t stress yourself out because you’re just going to drive yourself crazy by worrying about something that you cannot have an impact on. So focus on those things you can have an impact on.
So two years ago, one of the things I had as a goal to help my health bucket was to really focus on my BMI, my body mass index. I wanted to continue with my cycling, and then I had blood pressure goals, because I’m hypertensive, I’m on blood pressure medications. And so thankfully, I was so glad to see over the course of about a year and a half, that my BMI came down. I had a goal to get under a certain number. I had a goal to get down on my blood pressure by certain numbers. And so, I hit those parameters. So that gave me a sense of accomplishment because as I’m filling my health bucket with different things and being able to look at actionable goals that I can quantify, that you can measure, that you can say, “Yes, I’ve achieved this.” Well, now, I can’t rest there. So I got to continue to come up with these actionable goals.
So one of the things I did, in addition to scheduling the prayer time every Tuesday, I decided, I said, “Mironda, if you don’t set an alarm and get yourself on your calendar on your phone to get yourself up, it’s not going to happen.” What changed over the last two years as well, is that I had to become more involved hands on in caring for my dad. So while I thought I was changing my work schedule so that I could have more time for me, it did not quite work out that way. So at the same time that I changed my work schedule, daddy needed me more.
So instead of spending the extra time in the morning to do my own exercise or do my own kinds of things, I needed to take that time to do stuff to take care of my dad, go to his house, make sure he’s good, and then go off to work. So because life was starting to get more chaotic and not quite so calm, because my mind was spinning, I would walk out the house, didn’t have my phone, didn’t have… I said, “Okay, no.” So now, I have alarms so that I get up. And it’s a nice just gentle little tinkling of a bell that says, “Six o’clock, it’s time to get up.”
Karen Greene:
It wakes you up?
Mironda Williams:
It does, because I have to lay there. You like to hit the the ground running.
Karen Greene:
Before I forget them.
Mironda Williams:
I can’t do that. And I lay there. 15 minutes later-
Deanna Guthrie:
You’d be back to sleep.
Mironda Williams:
Mission Impossible comes on.
Deanna Guthrie:
Oh, okay.
Mironda Williams:
And then the message says, “Time to work out.”
Karen Greene:
Okay.
Mironda Williams:
So then, I can get myself up. I give myself 30 minutes to do something.
Karen Greene:
You give yourself grace.
Mironda Williams:
Then Mission Impossible comes on again, and then the message says, “Time to get dressed.” Because time will get away from me in the morning. You know what I’m saying? And so that has helped my mental health, that has helped my physical health because I’m at least carving out some portion of time in the morning. And it has helped my emotional and mental health because I can say, “Okay now.” And then it says, “Time to get dressed.” Because then, I start, I got to make the coffee. I’ve got to get daddy’s breakfast. I’ve got to do this, do that. Then I go, “Oh my God.” But then the alarm goes off, “Time to leave the house.”
And so, since I’ve been doing that for six weeks, it’s like, “Okay.” What was starting to be a little more chaotic, is now starting to get back calm. And I told Karen. I said, “I’m not sure if I’m going to keep this here.” But they say, if you do something for how many days in a row, it becomes a habit. And so, I just needed something to get me back into a regimen in the morning because I now have to see about my dad. And he’s going to live until 105, I determined this because-
Karen Greene:
She’s such a good daughter.
Mironda Williams:
He’s going to live until 105. So I needed to be able to craft things. So this helped me to design my life, my morning in a way that I could then put some things in these buckets. When we talk about joy, I’m still struggling on the play. I’m like, “What do I do?” I like to watch movies and I say, I’m a homebody. So what I created and have created… Because I went through a major purge in the pandemic. I got rid of everything in my house, stuff in my bed. So I had a nice, big empty space. But I think it was helpful because it helped me to just get my mind like, “You know what? Just get rid of all this. I just cannot. This no longer serves me.” It no longer spoke to who I am, what I believe, and what I wanted to do.
Now, I’m filling my space again with different kinds of furniture, different arrangements of furniture, because it speaks more to who I am, what I believe and how I want to live now. One of the things that I used to do years back, I love having people over to the house, cooking and having people sit around, eat and be silly and loud. And so I stopped doing that. And so I’m doing that more now. That’s joyful for me. So having people in my home and being comfortable in my home brings me joy. And so, those are some of the things I’m trying to do. But I’m really still looking for those activities, those actual activities that feel like play and joy for me just by doing it. So I’m still working on that part. Because exercise isn’t for me. That does not feel my play bucket.
Karen Greene:
And that’s okay.
Mironda Williams:
I know it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me it’s okay. I tell you all, it’s okay. But it helps my health bucket, but I don’t consider that play. And in fact, it may even be work.
Karen Greene:
What happened to tennis?
Mironda Williams:
I’m not good at tennis. See, I’m good at tennis in my mind.
Deanna Guthrie:
You don’t have to be good. No, no, no, no, no.
Mironda Williams:
No, no, no. This is my point. Tennis is also a two-person sport. Now, I have a great time at Mozley Park. I live in Atlanta, Georgia, and I am a swipe baby. And I grew up on the west side of Atlanta. And so growing up, Mozley Park was my park. Well, now that I’m a little seasoned… I won’t [inaudible 00:30:44] a senior. I’m seasoned. I go to Mozley Park because they have a wall. They have a hitting wall over there. And so I hit against the wall all the time. I am Serena when I’m against that wall. Okay. But when I get out there with somebody that actually has a tennis racket in their hand, it’s like, “Oh no.”
Karen Greene:
Yeah.
Mironda Williams:
So I enjoy tennis. Yes, I enjoy playing tennis with the wall.
Karen Greene:
Yes, that’s tennis.
Deanna Guthrie:
Okay.
Karen Greene:
That works.
Mironda Williams:
I don’t need permission. I got it. But my point is, to play tennis with a human being on the other side of a racket, not so much. So my little guy friend, he’s a tennis person. And bless his heart. He just taps… Because I’m not a tennis player, but at least he doesn’t make me feel like, “Oh, bless your little heart.” But I know in his mind, he’s like, “Oh, bless your little heart.” But that’s okay. But I love the wall at Mozley Park. I shouldn’t have said that because now, all of y’all are going to go to Mozley Park. And then when I want to go to the wall-
Karen Greene:
It’ll be crowded.
Mironda Williams:
… it’s going to be crowded. But anyway, I love Mozley Park. It’s been revived, along with a lot of west side of Atlanta with what’s going on there. So I’m happy about that. So I’m still working on that. I’m still working on my bucket.
Karen Greene:
It’s funny, it’s hard as an adult to figure out what we do to play.
Mironda Williams:
Just play.
Karen Greene:
I think that’s an interesting dilemma.
Mironda Williams:
Yeah.
Karen Greene:
It’s a good dilemma, I suppose. But why does that part of my brain go away, that I really have to-
Mironda Williams:
I think because we get so busy with everything else, all the things, because we’re doing all the things for all the people.
Deanna Guthrie:
Or you can feel guilty about it.
Mironda Williams:
I don’t feel guilty. I just don’t even know what I want to do. I would have to say this about myself because I know myself. I don’t feel guilty about a lot of things.
Karen Greene:
I wish I was like that.
Mironda Williams:
I really don’t. Because I tell for, “Hey, I’m doing me boo. You do you. Okay? It’s all good. We all do what we need to do.” I don’t feel bad about stuff. If I want to go home and sit down on my… You know what? My mother used to call it, pressing the flesh. People would say, “What are you doing?” I’m pressing the flesh. Do I feel bad? No.
Karen Greene:
See, I’m just the opposite. I feel guilty about stuff. And I really have to work against, it’s okay, you are not… It’s okay.
Mironda Williams:
I don’t have to do a bleeping thing. Okay? And I’m okay about it. I am.
Karen Greene:
And I’m good about telling people not to feel guilty with themselves.
Mironda Williams:
Yeah, doing it yourself.
Karen Greene:
It’s hard. It’s hard.
Mironda Williams:
Extend the grace to you that you’re extending to others.
Karen Greene:
I’m trying. That’s the work in process.
Mironda Williams:
That’s a lesson for all of us.
Karen Greene:
That’s a work in progress.
Mironda Williams:
That’s a lesson for all of us. So I’m still working on those buckets. But the thing, and the thing I want to bring out again, before we get ready to close up this segment, when you talk about designing your life, moving from chaos to calm, really tuning in to who you are, what you believe, what you’re doing, what’s going into your love bucket that sends a connection, relationship. How is love flowing to you? How is love flowing from you? When you think about your play, what you do is just about joy. When you think about work, participation in the great ongoing human adventure. And then when you think about your health, your mind, your body, your spirit, all of that plays into your mental health, your emotional health, your spiritual health and your physical health.
You have to tune in, people, because otherwise, time will get away from you, life will get away from you literally or figuratively. But literally, you could be in the hereafter. And so, I think this is a time that all of us and the three of us in particular, are really trying to be intentional to say, “How do we want our lives to look? How do you want your life to feel? What do I need to do to make that happen?” Because it’s not going to happen by accident. It’s just not. And so, unless you give energy and time and intention and thought to that, then you’ll wake up six months from now, you’ll be in the same spot. And none of us want to do that as individuals, nor do we want that to happen for our friends, our family, our patients, people who are listening to us ramble on at times about how we’re really working to try to make life be all that life needs to be for us, whatever that looks like. But if you don’t know yourself, you can’t figure that out. Anything else?
Karen Greene:
Like I said, time waits for no one. You do have to plan it.
Deanna Guthrie:
Have fun and play.
Mironda Williams:
Not as much plan as think about it.
Karen Greene:
Think about what you want to do.
Mironda Williams:
Think about what you want to do.
Karen Greene:
Yeah, as opposed to just waiting for it to happen.
Mironda Williams:
Right. And think about who you are. I think we don’t spend that internal time work because it could be scary.
Karen Greene:
It is very scary.
Mironda Williams:
To look at yourself for real without… As they say now, these young people, no filters with no additions. Just who am I in the raw? And be okay with that. Or if you find something that you’re not okay with, okay-
Deanna Guthrie:
change it.
Mironda Williams:
… what can I change? Not just change it, but what can I change? What I can’t change, I am 6’1″. I can never find pants long enough. I can never find shirts that can fit my arms. I could be upset about that. I could be angry about that, or I could just buy long socks.
Karen Greene:
Nothing you can do about that.
Mironda Williams:
Nothing you can do about that. So don’t expend energy and be frustrated about that. But I can work on how I feel about being a six-foot woman. Right? I can understand that God made people in all shapes and sizes. I’m just the long size, and that’s okay. We beat each other up because we don’t look a certain way. Who said we had to? Where is that? But we all suffer from that. And who said my life had to look like yours? Who said that I have to design my life the way that some nebulous, they said… I’m always like, “Who is they? Who is the they? I need a name of the they.”
Karen Greene:
Well, definitely in this next chapter of my life, I want to-
Deanna Guthrie:
The Joneses.
Mironda Williams:
The Joneses.
Karen Greene:
… not worry about they and the Joneses.
Mironda Williams:
Because it’s wasted time.
Karen Greene:
It really is. It really is. And I feel me personally, I wasted a lot of time the last couple of chapters.
Mironda Williams:
Same, same.
Karen Greene:
So it’s like…
Mironda Williams:
I’m not doing that.
Karen Greene:
Not anymore.
Mironda Williams:
I don’t have the time to waste.
Karen Greene:
That part.
Mironda Williams:
Because I’m no time soon. God, I love you, but not now. I like it here. So I want to keep living here and doing things and having new experiences and continuing to do those things that continue to bring me joy and fill all my buckets.
So we hope you have enjoyed listening to us as we talk away from the whole medicine thing, away from GYN health, even though we’ll be getting back to that in some upcoming episodes and dealing with your questions about women’s health and about different things that are impacting you from a health standpoint. But a part of your physical health is your mental and emotional health, and understanding who you are and making sure that we’re all putting some time and attention into designing our life, so that we can build well-lived and joyful lives, because that helps us all be happier.
So until we get together again, please continue to share us wherever you get your podcast. Tell your friends and family about us. Listen to us on our YouTube channels. We have video that go along with this wonderful audio. Check us out on our website at RosaGynecology.com. We have a wealth of information there, many articles, our previous seasons of podcasts, other videos that are informational about various different things. You will find all that there. So please continue to check out all the platforms where we’re trying to provide you helpful information, that helps you to inform your life and live a well-lived life. Until we get back again, I’m Dr. Mironda Williams.
Deanna Guthrie:
I’m Dr. Deanna Guthrie.
Karen Greene:
And I’m Dr. Karen Greene. Take good care.