The combined physical, mental, and emotional invasion of sexual assault is one of the most harrowing experiences a person can ever endure. If it’s happened to someone you care about, figuring out what to do or say can be overwhelming. As your friend or family member processes the assault and its aftermath in the months and possibly years following, there are several ways our team suggests you lend support.
The Complex Aftermath of Surviving Sexual Assault
Sexual assault is heartbreakingly all too common, with an estimated one in six women experiencing it in the U.S. each year. Because there is often a great deal of shame, fear, and confusion attached to telling anyone about this crime — let alone submitting an official report — it’s impossible to know exactly how many cases go unreported, but experts believe less than five percent are brought to the attention of authorities.
The reasons behind this may not be easy to understand for someone who has never experienced sexual assault, but for victims, they’re all too real. A sense of futility may come into play, as well; for every 100 reports of sexual assault, only 18 result in arrest. Even if charges are made, many victims are understandably reluctant to revisit their trauma in court, especially if they fear it’s unlikely to bring justice.
Further, while surviving sexual assault is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, “blame-the-victim” mentalities are hideously commonplace, adding even more weight to victims’ naturally internalized wondering whether they were somehow partially responsible for the circumstances that led to the crime.
What Is the Best Way to Provide Support to Survivors?
With a situation so complex and sensitive, it’s hard to know how to help. In most cases, the first thing to do is to simply validate your loved one by convincingly saying, “I believe you.” It can be understandably difficult for survivors to share even a small part of their story — even with the people they love and trust — but knowing that you believe them can open doors for more relief.
Of course, the conversation doesn’t end there. There are other words you can offer them in this immensely difficult time, including:
This is not your fault.
As humans, we often have an innate belief that some degree of circumstances falls within our control. Even if your loved one knows logically that they aren’t responsible for the assault, emotions can be tricky — especially when processing trauma. They may find themselves questioning what they could have done differently. You might consider gently reminding them that there are no circumstances in which anyone deserves assault.
I’m so sorry this happened.
Acknowledging that assault has affected your loved one and will continue to affect them is an important part of validating and empathizing with their experience. Although you can’t change what happened or what may happen next, you can hold space emotionally for them.
I’m here to listen.
Part of being a support person is expressing that your friend or family member can share as little or as much as they want to, on their terms and on their timeline.
Help is available.
While lending a listening ear will be comforting to your friend, they may also need legal, medical, and counseling services moving forward, all of which call for professional help. Here are a couple of resources to share with them:
- Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): Call the national sexual assault hotline at 800.656.4673 or chat online
- National Sexual Violence Resource Center: Visit their help page to find local resources for survivors.
Schedule an Appointment With Rosa Gynecology
Lastly, know that Rosa Gynecology is always a safe space for women who have experienced sexual assault and are seeking medical help and guidance. Our caring gynecology specialists and nurse practitioners are women, too, and are committed to tending to our community in a comforting, knowledgeable, and empathetic environment. Schedule an appointment with one of our providers online or by calling 770-487-9604.
